what i've learned from the forms ...

racial category ... turns out, according to the feds, i'm asian (and not pacific islander).

asian as follows: A person having origins in any of the original peoples of the Far East, Southeast Asia, or the Indian subcontinent including, for example, Cambodia, China, India, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Pakistan, the Philippine Islands, Thailand, and Vietnam.

native hawaiian or other pacific islander as follows: A person having origins in any of the original peoples of Hawaii, Guam, Samoa, or other Pacific Islands.

what you've said so far ...

uh, thanks?

announcements to people ... over the last couple of weeks or so, i started sending out announcements to clients, vendors, friends, and business colleagues regarding my upcoming re-entry into the traditional workforce, while EXPLICITLY noting that i also will maintain my business (y'know, gotta pay taxes, deal with administrative activities, and stuff).

here are some responses (sans billn who will have my own tribute to his responses):

• "quick, excited responses" congrats ...
  Congratulations! ... WOW! Woo hoo!! Good job! Way to go! Atta girl! I’m happy for you, Shirl! ... cool. congrats, shirlsd! ... ShirlSD, congratulations sounds like a whole new adventure. Keep us posted. ... exciting news! best of luck! keep in touch. ...
  

• "commentary of my future role" congrats ...
  Congratulations and best wishes in your new position. I am sure that you will be very effective in [the organization] with your vast experience in [the stuff you do] issues. Besides, I hope that your move to the San Francisco Bay Area will be good for [family] in this area. Let's have lunch after you settle down in San Francisco. ...
  
  Shirlsd, congratulations!!! It will be good to have one of the good guys on [the organization's] Staff.
  
  Go get those bad boys (and girls).
  

• "dark side reference" congrats ... (there were a couple more, but this is the main sentiment. some had not-so-nice things to say. people! play nicely in the sand box)
  Going to the dark side I see! ... So you're moving over to the dark side. Best of luck.
  

• "getting down to the nitty-gritty" congrats ...
  Please let me know as soon as you can whether you can support our project. As you know, the main task you would be involved in has a report due Oct. 2007, so the work would need to be conducted mainly in October. I wonder-- if you have not received an 'official' approval by end of Sept., can you still support the project in October?
  

• "let's hold hands" congrats ...
  Congratulations!? I added the question mark because the future is unknown. If it makes you happy, then I am happy that you are. Have fun working with all the other [type of workers] under [the organization]. The world is wonderful.
  
  Congratulations. I hope the job works out as you want. ... Congratulations!! I'm happy for you. I hope it's everything you hope it to be.
  
  Hope this is what you want - it is certainly a change from running your own business. Give me a call when you have a minute; I will also try calling you this week. Hope all is well with [family].
  
  Congrats on the new job. I take it you'll be commuting into SF on bart? ... You had told me you were interviewing for this job. But I'm still a little surprised you're easing out of self-employment. There's a lot of stress in self-employment. Is that one of the reasons? I often think it would be nice to get a W-2 job. Actually, I think about it all the time. Well, good luck with your first week.
  

• the "l'il chuckle" congrats ...
  Hey good luck with that new 40 hr gig. ... Congrats Shirley! Only 40 hrs a week? What are you going to do with all that free time? :) ... If you really plan to work 40 hours per week, what will you do with all of your free time - besides blog ...
  

• "be-a-messenger" congrats ... Congrats Shirl! Please be sure to look up my good friend bt at [the organization]. Tell her hi for me if you meet here. You can probably both have a laugh at my expense! Please send contact info when you can.

... so those are just a few congrats that leads me to the start of my "thanks-you-to-do" list

• notify folks of my new contact info
• set up lunch dates (and perhaps after work drinks or din-dins)
• ponder (and perhaps write) thoughts about the good vs. bad perspective
• get a l'il insight on the "dark side" perspective
  
• tie up loose ends on the business side of things with projects, admin, invoicing, filing, etc.
  
• hug some folks
  
• blog
• meet bt and laugh at bf's expense
  

celebrate my decision!

almost. my. first. day. of. school.

today
(and pigdog will come along!)

ALMOST
almost done with form-filling out
finished the memo-writing stuff

(i let my business work stuff take a l'il precedent)

NEXT STEPS? ... load up the car to lug stuff to glam-up & make (enough) functional my office cubicle. (yes. cubicle.) make sure i remember how to post to the blog (during lunch & breaks, of course) from my handheld.

r|break: ... added new blog thingy

... under my l'il blog header

MUST GET MY FIX

decided to make a wist
and give it a shot
[from wists.com]

and to continue my day,
must continue to complete
MORE forms (and finish other work stuff)
for the new adventure*
(with this as the almost-last-post for r|you freakin' crazy shirlsd?)

*(note to self:
i.d. badge = good hair day)

relative or not?

i am filling out WAY-WAY-WAY FORMS!
and i have to provide names such as ...

... three people who know you well and live in the United States. They should be good friends, peers, colleagues, college roommates, etc., whose combined association with you covers as well as possible the last 5 years. Do not list your spouse, former spouses, or other relatives, and try not to list anyone who is listed elsewhere on this form.

does godbrother* count as a relative???

* son of the person
who is my godmother or godfather

still more forms to complete ... and still memo-writing.

r|break: ... resume + two forms =

... an overnight delivery to [the organization] for its receipt of the mandatory "submit-before-you-show-up forms/info" then i can be fingerprinted and tickled. now for a little break before i continue memo-writing (so i can send yet ANOTHER overnight delivery tomorrow).

rounding out the music break of voxtrot & evans blue with breaking benjamin.

breath

[o.k. - back to form-filling-out in a little while]

r|break: ... music while i form-fill-out & memo-write

monday form-filling-madness-pacifier was voxtrot. today is evans blue. thanks to the unspecified-generation friend of mine who provided this quote way back when in may '06:

Power is something you take ... your status is not governed by some artificial chronological measure. If you believe you are a pseudo GenXer, then you are.

- prefers to be anonymous, TX resident

beg

because i follow instructions

a bit of a correction ... the instructions in monday's letter said to open [cute ACRONYM URL] with internet explorer. no need. turns out if i just read the attached brochure, i'd see the word mozilla. thank you. (just a few more items to complete ... almost done with THIS form)

the closing of ...

... monday's e-mail about the background investigation requirement which started with this and followed with this - now closes with ...

You will also need to go to your local badging office to be fingerprinted.

Your personal information will be protected at all times according to the requirements of the [quasi-big-bro-blah-blah]. At [the organization], only trained [one of the normal acronyms] staff will have access to the completed forms and final report. Your managers will not see investigative material, and [a box] will contain only a confirmation that an investigation was completed.

During the [other one of the normal acronyms] investigation your current work status will not be affected in any way, provided the “fingerprint check” of Federal Bureau of Investigation* law enforcement indices is favorable. If the check is unfavorable, you will be contacted immediately and given the opportunity to explain/resolve any issues raised.

If you have questions, please contact your [organization's security person] at 415-###-####. You can access a quick guide to filling out [the form URL] For more on the investigative process, see the Personnel Security Handbook, online at [ANOTHER URL!!!]

I appreciate your assistance and prompt attention to this matter.

[cute-ACRONYM] Applicant Brochure
(See attached file: [cute-ACRONYM] Applicant Brochure.pdf)

*COOL!!! VERY COOL!!!

to continue yesterday's e-mail ...

... from [the organization's] HQ. it started off with this (which introduced the background investigation requirement) and continues with ...

Here is how to access and use the system (ensure you change your Internet Explorer* security settings as outlined in the attached brochure):

• [eight steps listed to access the Gateway at [cute-ACRONYM URL] and fill-out/submit the on-line form]
  

[ACRONYM for one of the gazillion government organizations] also requires that you complete and submit the following forms to your [organization's security person] (please sign each form as an applicant):

• [two other forms listed - one form that already was mentioned in the offer/acceptance letter under "conditions for employment" **AND** the other form that i don't really need to fill out if i provide the resume i already provided when i applied for the job]
  

In addition, you must print, sign, and submit to your [organization's security person] the following sections of the [on-line cute-ACRONYM form]:
1. “Authorization for Release of Information”
2. “Certification That My Answers Are True”

and yet, there is STILL more
(for tomorrow)

*[INTER-F**KING-NET-EXPLORER?!
UGH!!! they're killin' me!]

... and now for the on-line form

as promised in the offer/acceptance letter, i was "... contacted by an employee from our headquarters office who will provide you the link to complete this form on-line." that contact came this morning for the beginning of fulfilling the ...

Background Investigation Requirement

Welcome to [the organization]. Your position with [the organization] requires you to have a background investigation. In order to expedite this process, we have created an account for you [named a cute-ACRONYM]. [cute-ACRONYM] offers significant advantages. It speeds submissions, offers flexibility (you can edit and save your responses at any point), and supports [the organization's] long-standing paper reduction goals. [cute-ACRONYM] can also ease privacy concerns, as the electronic form will go directly to [two normal acronyms] rather than to your [organization].

more later for blog fodder.

and the LAST of more from the notification

as a continuation of the previous posts here
(for the beginning of the offer/acceptance letter)

... recap

• congrats and summary of what is in letter
• Reporting for Work on the First Day
• Information About Your Position
• Conditions of Employment
• Benefits Information
• Payroll Information

and the drum roll for the ...

• Additional Forms to Complete and Bring With You When Reporting to Work

o.k. - i am going to work for the feds and there are EIGHT more forms, in addition to the other forms previously mentioned. the forms are titled ...

• Race and National Origin Form
• Self Identification of Handicap
• Statement of Prior Federal Service
• ID Card Request Form
• EPA Policy on EEO and Acknowledgement Form
• Employee Personnel Data Form
• Credentials Verification Form
• Designation of Beneficiary (Unpaid Compensation)

... and the offer/acceptance closed with the following nice-nice:

The [organization's] Human Resources Office Welcomes You as a New Customer! The Human Resources Office staff is glad to welcome you as a customer. We are your official servicing Human Resources Office and have over 25 years of experience providing a full range of human resource services to our regional customers. If you have any questions, please contact me on (415) ###-#### or by email at: [your.HRperson]@[fed agency].gov.

Congratulations on your selection and best wishes to you in your new position.

Sincerely,

[cool person]
Human Resources Specialist


cc: gr [my boss], lm, dc

and that would be the end of the offer/acceptance letter
phew. excited.

and YET more from notification

more from the offer/acceptance letter
(adjunct to this and this)

Benefits Information
You are eligible to enroll in a health insurance plan within 60 days of your appointment. You may access information concerning health plan options at the following web address:

An enrollment form will be provided to you during New Employee Orientation.
[URL for ANOTHER on-line .pdf document]
You are automatically enrolled in the basic Federal Employee’s Group Life Insurance (FEGLI) plan. You have 30 days from the date of your appointment to elect to increase or waive your coverage under FEGLI to meet your needs. You may access FEGLI information at the following web address: [URL for on-line .pdf document]. An enrollment form will be provided to you during New Employee Orientation.

You will be covered under the Federal Employees Retirement System (FERS). Employees pay a portion of their retirement contributions. Your FERS contributions will be deducted from your salary at the rate of: FERS 0.8% and Social Security 6.2%. Additionally, employee
contribution for Medicare is 1.45%.

You will be eligible to participate in the Thrift Savings Plan (TSP) investment plan. You may access information about this program at the following web address: [URL for on-line .pdf document] A TSP election form will be provided to you during New Employee Orientation.

Payroll Information
You will earn annual leave and sick leave at the rate of four hours per pay period.
Our pay periods are biweekly and pay days are the second Tuesday of the pay period. Your first salary payment will be made on October 9, 2007, which is the first pay day following the close of your first pay period ending September 29, 2007. Thereafter, you will receive a salary payment every other Tuesday.
All [organization] employees are required to receive payroll payments by direct deposit. Please complete the attached FASTSTART form and attach a copy of a voided check or deposit slip to initiate your direct deposit and bring it with you when you report for work:
[URL for on-line .pdf document]
You will be required to make future payroll changes through myPay.
You will receive information from myPay, including a Personal Identification Number (PIN) that will help you make any changes after your initial designations. myPay can be accessed via the internet at: [URL for on-line .pdf document].
Federal and state tax forms. Please complete the attached forms and bring it with you when you report for work:
Federal Tax Withholding, W-4: (See attached file: [*])
State Tax Withholding, DE-4: [URL for on-line .pdf document]

Additional Forms to Complete and Bring With You When Reporting to Work

... SUSPENSE (sort of).

and when i told ya what i told ya ...

after sending out an announcement to many folks* regarding my future work-force entrance ...

• Employer: [an organization in] San Francisco, CA
• Position: [a position], [kick butt & awesome division for which you will be working] (serving gr)
• Start Date: September 17, 2007, Monday
• Work Schedule: 40 hours per week

thanks, kev, for your response to the announcement ...

If you really plan to work 40 hours per week, what will you do with all of your free time - besides blog...

smarty pants.
(that's what i'm going to use some of my 40 hours. ha!)

*[for which i continue to have many others to notify]

...and more from the notification

the beginning of the offer/acceptance letter said this ... and then the next bits of info that i'll share for now ...

• Reporting for Work on the First Day
• Information About Your Position
• Conditions of Employment

Reporting for Work on the First Day
The effective date of your [position] competitive service appointment is Sunday, September 16, 2007. Please report for work on Monday, September 17 at 8:00 a.m. After signing in with our security office in the lobby, you will be escorted to your office by someone from the [kick butt & awesome division for which you will be working]. I will provide information in a separate message. At 8:30 a.m., you will be escorted to [a room that is named after a California county] on [a floor where it would be advised to use an elevator vs. stairs] for New Employee Orientation.

Information About Your Position
$[some chunk of change] per annum ($[some chunk of change] per hour).
Your supervisor will be gr.
Your timekeeper will be pb.
Your mentor will be assigned at a later date.
The full performance level of your position is [a prime number].*
You will work a full-time schedule. You and your supervisor will discuss your work hours in accordance with [our organization's] work schedule policy.
You will serve a one-year probationary period.

Conditions of Employment
On your first day of work, please bring document(s) to establish your identity and employment eligibility (e.g., a current passport, certificate of U.S. citizenship, or a current copy of your driver’s licence and U.S. social security card issued by the Social Security Administration). You must also complete the attached form and bring it with you when you report for work: [URL for on-line .pdf document]

You must also complete [yet another form], and return it to me prior to the effective date of your appointment: [URL for on-line .pdf document]

You will need to complete [yet another form]. You will be contacted by an employee from our headquarters office who will provide you the link to complete this form on-line. We are providing you the PDF file below so you can complete the form prior to going on-line. You will either need to print a copy of the form you complete on-line or complete the form below and return it to me prior to the effective date of your appointment so we may review it in order to issue you an ID Badge.

(upcoming days, posts to include:
benefits, payroll information, and
a list of additional forms to complete
and bring with me when reporting to work)

*[shirlsd comment: is this prime number thing a "sign"? ]

when i start to work for the man...

... will no longer post under the label of

r|you freakin' crazy shirlsd?

and i will post about my
re-entry into the traditional work-force
under the label of

yes shirlsd is freakin' crazy

so there. if i can deal with it, so can you all.
(yes, you - all 3 devoted readers)

formal notification from the man ...

regarding the offer & my acceptance*
confirmation came via a rather detailed e-mail yesterday,
so now i have some blog fodder over the next phew days.
(i'll inch-ish stuff each day)

Dear SHIRLSD:

Congratulations! This confirms my offer and your acceptance to the position of [the position that will be rewarding]. This offer includes [some additional "stuff" that was negotiated] with [some additional "stuff" that's sort of like a leash] which you may sign on your first day of work. Your position is located in [an SF office building for a position in a group of which you were spawned].

Throughout this letter, I will be referencing and flagging several forms requiring your immediate attention. Please follow the instructions given for printing and completing these required forms. Some completed forms must be returned to the Human Resources Office prior to reporting for work via standard mail, fax (415-***-****), or email. If you are unable to access these forms via the internet or computer, please call me as soon as possible so that I can mail you the forms. If you email or fax any forms, please bring the originals with you when you report for work.

(forms came up fine. got stuff to fill out.
more of the notification tomorrow)

*[first day is 09/17,
which also is this]

i'm a new dog ...

... now that i'll be in civil service!

i was once a czesky terrier
(on the r|intern blog ... press the green button with the little arrow)
and now ...

lakeland terrier.

his effective resignation day ...

... is my first day
workin' for d'man!

a.g. a.gonzales leaves the feds
on the day that i rejoin the feds

no, it wasn't planned; i don't know al, and frankly, now i'm kinda perturbed that i have this inane piece of knowledge that my anniversary re-start date is shared with a memorable event of a former a.g. of the u.s., eh?

i choose my first day on 08/07, which included seeing the simpsons movie. wonder how mr. a.g. celebrated? dunno how long alG had been thinkin' 'bout leaving, but he must've seen the writing on the wall, newspapers, polls, his conscience (who typed that?). me? never in this lifetime did i imagine heading back to the feds.

nevertheless, this reminds me of my last day workin' for a large corporation, back in the early '90s ... my last day - the anniversary of the Clean Air Act Amendments.

r|break: revisit a post ...

... over here.

the half-face man in the pic?
my future boss for
r|you freakin' crazy shirlsd?