mash-up 1: MONIKERING pre-next installment

the practice-preview run preceding this post is over here. before the next installment of moniker-counseling for a girlfriend, i decided to revisit the monikers i've given (somewhat haphazardly and pre-made-up rules) to the half-dozen clips of landfill boys and do a little self-qa/qc ...

the beginning of the 1/2-dozens started over here ... a bit inspired by iceman who sayeth -

"Then again, if you spend your whole day
walking through a landfill all the time,
you might come to the conclusion
that the planet stinks."

- and well ... i had committed not to trudge through a landfill (no matter what hairy palms tells me about dealing with the sahara desert), so i decided to do some dating (and almost dating) nostalgia. anyway, back to the self-qa/qc of the monikers, and perhaps i'll remoniker a few of them.

made-up RULE #1 ...

CHOOSE A MONIKER THAT IS NOT OBVIOUS
while one that also is
PERSONALLY (for you) DESCRIPTIVE.

are the monikers ... discreet - general - descriptive - personal?

1. skateboard dude ... i'll say 2/4.
   general & personal, but not necessarily descriptive and discreet. if i referred to him as skateboard dude among the balance of friends, his identity would be too obvious - discreet would be out the door! the back-story is ... yawn! so this fellow would be better off with a different moniker.
   
   
2. meow-meow ... this is a 4/4 - all the great markers of a good moniker.
   the best part of this is i can speak of meow-meow whenever and wherever. i have friends who have their own meow-meows. great back-story(ies) - did i mention that meow-meow inadvertently found himself dating a shemale? and personal? well, i cheated a bit; i didn't quite come up with the name. i told a petula story about meow-meow to a friend & she immediately grabbed onto meow-meow - as did i. as did i.
   
   
3. purple-pleated-pants ... my oh my, another 2/4.
   general & descriptive, but not so much discreet and personal. when referring to how someone dresses, discreet kinda goes out the door (circa 70s/80s). it's like saying "members only jacket" dude or "puma" shoe wearing guy. likely, such a moniker is more telling than discreet. usually, when monikering based on some identifiable clothing choice, others will certainly be able to figure out whom your talking about.
   
   however, using p3 ...? this makes it a 3/4.
   there is a great back-story to p3, and the issue of discreet is resolved. p3 is a good moniker, however the p3 moniker is a bit of a short-cut to meeting the "personal" characteristic. simply put, it's more of a personal code or something. going acronym or abbreviation is o.k. for monikering, but the acronum/abbrev should be used only you are pressed for time.
   
   
4. 976-boy ... clearly a 4/4.
   great back-story for descriptive. awesomely discreet. quite personal. and certainly general. ANYONE can use this moniker. anyone! (this fellow also could have been moniker'd coconut-shrimp-boy, but 976-boy has a much better back-story than the coconut-shrimp-boy back-story (.. for which i no longer own the cookware he left).
   
   
5. wb#2 ... this really only gets a 1/4.
   here is where wb#2 was first moniker'd - over here. within the context of the back-story, it's personal. HOWEVER, discreet and descriptive? no. general? TOO general. unfortunately, a more obvious moniker would be asian p***y boy, however, this breaks the second made-up rule ...
   
   made-up RULE #2 ...
   A MONIKER SHALL **NOT** BE
   MISOGYNISTIC, RACIST, OR GENITALIA-ISH.
   (it's just uncool.)
   
   
6. big meat ... this gets a 2/4, even though it's a 4/4 candidate.
   descriptive, yes but not necessarily for the right reasons. not so discreet. general, yes but again - perhaps not necessarily for the right reasons. and finally personal? eh - not so much. similar to meow-meow, big meat was a nickname that my friend todd chose. unlike meow-meow, it just doesn't have that same personal touch (so to speak).
   

so to recap - the primo monikers from this batch are meow-meow & 976-boy. the sitting-in-the-corner-with-dunce-cap-on moniker from this batch include wb#2. all others are sitting in the middle of the pack.

you have different opinions or other ideas?
bring 'em on!

mash-up 1: MONIKERING practice-preview run

time to start writing/story-telling stuff. just stuff ... so thinking this through and passing some ideas by gadgetman over breakfast yester-morn, as well as the lunch chat on friday with hairy palms, this initial effort is a result of a mash-up of the following:

• a bit of a nutty, mid-40s single gal dating (errr ... a bit lean on the dating, actually - but working on it. a l'il help friends & family!!!) who is a scanner (over here) and jumps from one idea to another while tying up loose ends
  
• a talker that should/could write as much as she talks (or yaps) (as evidenced by "dude's response" over here toward bottom of post) and doesn't seem to come up for air too often (... that didn't sound right?)
  
• a penchant for l'il monikers (in order to avoid claims of mudslinging & slander but enough of a disguise for the occasional gossip) (see later in this blog post)
  
• a bit of nostalgia on the iceman-e/m-exchange day(ze) and more recent visits of breakfast with gadgetman and sushi with hairy palms
  
• stepping up to jengyee's b-day '07 sentiment (and a cutesy book) that i should write about dating stuff

this post is the initial practice-preview run of mash-up 1 ... the simple act of giving nicknames or monikers to those fellows (or gals) you are dating (or wanna date) - or maybe just monikers for friends (but let's focus on the dating theme - it's easier & entertaining, at least for me). i suggest there is a better way and a not-so-much way (... and for those who need more precision - a correct way and an incorrect way) for monikers. to that, i will speak of moniker-ing boys ('cuz we likes the boys!).

the genesis & 2004 monikering ... the following is what i believe may be the (my) genesis of monikering (back in the college days) and an actual documented monikering-moment.

my moniker-bestowing days started no later than when i was a freshman in college ... "mr. dwinelle"* was the moniker for this guy that walked down from the top of campus toward the building named . . . named . . . you guessed it . . . DWINELLE! i was in my freshman year, i had him in my chemistry class (with at least 300 other co-eds), and i just thought he was a cutie but had no idea who he (or his friends) was. i forced my guy friends to sit with me and watch mr. dwinelle come from wherever he was coming from. (well, forced isn't accurate. i got stuck hanging out on the benches with my guy buddies in front of dwinelle while their hormones raged & they stared at gals - and some stared at guys. so i had to pass my time somehow.)

what makes mr. dwinelle a good moniker? ... it's personal to me (and the 5 other gal pals of mine at the time), and it's NOT OBVIOUS!

moniker-naming made-up
RULE #1 ...

CHOOSE A MONIKER THAT IS NOT OBVIOUS
while one that also is
PERSONALLY (for you) DESCRIPTIVE.

the moniker should be somewhat discreet yet general ... descriptive yet personal ... this way, you (and someone else) can actually use the moniker.

• discreet ... WHEN YOU USE IT, you can do so when you are actually talking with or nearby the moniker'd person or his friends.
  
• general ... when someone else uses the same moniker for his/her purposes - for the same person or for his/her own purpose (another person), it's O.K.; NO TRADEMARK needed.
  
• descriptive ... a good moniker has an interesting back-story; that's the descriptive part - the back-story. it's all about the BACK-STORY! this way, you also can avoid mixing up your moniker'd boys.
  
• personal ... YOU picked it. don't let your buds derail you. if i did, i'd have ended up calling him tight pants, pencil moustache, or flat butt. tight pants & flat butt? geez! i'm sure i'd get my tight pants & flat butt boys mixed up. pencil moustache? obvious problem. what if he shaved it off? i'd have to call him unpencil moustache or pencil unmoustache? both monikers - boo.
  

needless to say, there was more than one cute boy walking toward dwinelle while my friends and i were obviously checking out the flock. HOWEVER, turns out, other than my chemistry class, that smidge of the dwinelle siting was THE ONLY OTHER PLACE i would see mr. dwinelle. (and again, tight pants, pencil moustache, and flat butt were no go names!).

fast-forward to my this decade l'il penchant for monikering ... it started when barista boy (now hairy palms) asked me how my SD dating was going many years ago. i memorialized the monikering in a november 2004 e-mail to (now) hairy palms in my "IJAM" tale. the monikers for IJAM dates OVER HERE. (excerpt reposted below)

(shameless self-promotion ... IJAM fiction short story over here)

and to be fair ... i even thought through monikers - or at least what they might tell their friends - each would have given to me - as if i was looking through their eyes (while they snuck peeks at their watch or nearby exits). their possible monikers for me? at the END of each - noted in "(moi? ... (pink-text))" (or read the original, somewhat confusing post over here.)

(REPOST)
source/excerpt: an e-mail (edited to maintain some anonymity & added comments) i sent on 11/21/04 to my friend the barista boy. below ... the monikers for each IJAM guy i met.

1. ARTIST: prior to becoming an "artist," ARTIST had worked at the same company for which my previous employers (let's call them THOSE GUYS) also had worked; THOSE GUYS quit that company and THOSE GUYS started their own firm. i had just (12-days prior to meeting the ARTIST) voluntarily left a position with THOSE GUYS. what a small-frakkin world. (moi? ... random conversation generator)


2. TEETHPICKER: had a really cool job. was sooooo not the height (read: shorter) they told me he would be; not that it mattered but for the fact i wore my oh-so-adorable-yet-painful kenneth cole make-me-taller shoes that were totally-painful-after-20-minutes. either the food make me sick, or the teethpicking made me sick. i excused myself from the table before the end of the meal and threw up. really.
   
   (i told the IJAM that bad hygiene was a deal-breaker, so put that in the database.) (moi? ... didn't finish her food)


3. DENTIST: (good one, IJAM; clever.). intelligent. good sarcasm. direct. had similar likes for activities. met again for dinner at the restaurant at which my friend todd worked. had to make sure DENTIST was gay-friendly. last i saw of or spoke with DENTIST. (moi? ... faghag)


4. BOURGEOIS: his favorite word, too often used, to describe his feeling about SD downtown, gaslamp district, urban setting, and people who go there. i go there. i guess i am bourgeois. and he is a pompous a**.
   
   (i was catching on ... IJAM did not check the database where i specifically noted ... i like to hang out in the hillcrest area of SD (read: gay area), little italy here or there, and downtown.) (moi? ... rice talk)


5. TMI GARDEN GNOME: western religious fellow gone eastern-ish spirituality. east coast fellow who moved to the west coast. penn state learned who learned later at san diego state. wayne dyer devotee. told me he was abused as a child. 1-step forward for honesty, i suppose. 5-steps backward for conversation topic.
   
   (just in case you don't know TMI. oh ... and once again, IJAM didn't do the math correctly. i wore my kenneth cole shoes again. yeah ... i towered. AND AT THIS POINT ... MY FIRST BREAKING POINT - i rattled off my polite rating of 'unsatisfactory' service - met with some chick at IJAM to let her know how sooooo off they have been and blah-blah-blah-blah) (moi? ... she is taller than i thought she'd be)
   
   
6. SWEET GUY: nice. great conversation. pleasant. walked me to my car in the cavernous fruits & veggie parking lot of horton plaza. gave me a peck on the cheek. met again for dessert (because he said he liked desserts!) ... & listened to him bemoan the prices of the dessert. (we were going dutch, even!) not a deal-breaker, but who bemoans the price of anything that is freshly-made and has CHOCOLATE!?
   
   (SIDE BAR: SWEET GUY gave me his e-Mail. i wrote him a 'thank you' e-Mail after the fab dessert place and let him know i totally looked forward to meeting up again. i got a call from him, while he was on a train to LA for work-stuff, which went something like, "i'd appreciate it if you would either be more vague in your e-Mails or call me. my secretary reads my e-Mail when i am out of the office. i don't bring my computer with me when i am out of the office." ... i was tempted to call him and ask him to check his e-Mail for my response, but i decided simply to call him - and in so many words said - i was not interested.) (moi? ... pricey date)
   
   
7. I-DONTMIN-TO-BRRRRAAAHHHG-BUT...: (translated ... i don't mean to brag, but) then don't.
   
   (SIDE BAR: possibly another miscommunication or database glitch or just sh***y service. i-dontmin-to-brrrraaahhhg-but... didn't like to watch movies. i love watching movies. AND THIS WOULD BE MY SECOND BREAK POINT with them. a small rant & rave over the phone...) (moi? ... filipina engineer)
   
   
8. DOT COM GUY (aka RINGER): tall. cute. universally cute. good conversation. lamented about similar IJAM experiences. extended our time spent talking with him because it was totally fun. I believe he was THE RINGER to appease me because I bitched at IJAM after i-dontmin-to-brrr... . haven't talked since. didn't expect to do so. we were each other's moment of therapy, i believe. did i mention he was cute. i was pacified.
   
   (SIDE BAR: IJAM told me he "rents" and that he works as a "computer-type" guy. i thought "so what about renting and computers?" i rent and think the world of my landlord. turns out, DOT COM GUY doesn't work. he's unemployed. he cashed out. he's totally set. he travels. an he owns several properties - which he rents.) (moi? ... jaded kindred spirit)


9. SALESGUY: cute. decent conversation. a little conservative and not a deal breaker. sort of defined by his status in corporate america. (eh?) i was interested in meeting up again. he didn't call back. (moi? ... another (!) asian gal !?)


10. TEACHER: fun. cheery. flaky. loves movies. elementary school teacher. did see a movie for 2nd meet up; cost-conscious so saw 1st showing of spider-man 2. (i heart willem dafoe.) on atkins diet. (don't get me started.) a few calls back/forth. flaky. nonresponsive.
    
    (SIDE BAR: both of us being filipino, never got to the point of discussion where we check if we are somehow loosely or directly related.) (moi? ... not-atkins-friendly)
    
    
11. RICH: (that would be his name ... not tax bracket. he is the only one i shall name) he and i are friends. we became friends after agreeing (on the 2nd meet-up) that there wasn't a "vibe" (aka chemistry) between us, but we had lots in common. he lives downtown, loves dessert, likes to hang-out, his respsectful, makes mean martinis, etc... for this friendship alone, i will not slam IJAM. (under other circumstances, i would not show calm restraint.) (moi? ... new friend)


12. EYE-CONTACT MAN: cute. a psychologist. no chemistry.
    
    (and i turned into a babbling fool about my limited knowledge about psychology. i likely was EYE-CONTACT MAN'S equivalent of my BOURGEOIS guy. EYE-CONTACT MAN loved (just loved!) to scuba dive. i don't even like the confined-space feeling of an airplane. .... i so, soooo, sooooooooooo, apologize for the 90-ish minutes i stole from EYE-CONTACT MAN'S life. i apologize deeply.) (moi? ... shoot me)


13. E-BAY MAN: cop. 2 kids. in process of going through a messy divorce. (i didn't realize in-process-of-being-single qualified one for IJAM.) o.k. conversation. i felt like i was E-BAY MAN's rudder ... IJAM threw us together so E-BAY MAN could gauge where i fell on his dating map.)
    
    (SIDE BAR: similar to the TEACHER, both of us being filipino, never got to the point of discussion where we check if we are somehow loosely or directly related. factoid - unlike the loch ness, yeti, or tooth fairy, 6'2" filipino guys exist.) (moi? ... short)
    
    
14. THE EXEC: took phone call ~ 10-minutes into the date. THE EXEC deserves a whole separate post. i MUST HAVE BEEN on some sort of candid-camera-reality-type show. for now, some key words - supervisor, alcoholic, asshole (in no special order)
    
    (SIDE BAR: a definite clue that IJAM didn't give a shit. did i type that? THIS WOULD BE MY THIRD BREAK POINT with them. a moderate rant & rave ... for which i disclosed i would meet-up with him again if i knew (and he knew) he would not be drunk as a skunk or headed that direction. i felt i needed to meet-up with him again - in a controlled & familiar space - to see if a camera crew was lurking!) (moi? ... she didn't hit me or throw a bottle at me!?)
    
    
15. DANCER: he was a biz owner. he was taking different social dance classes (which is cool). he was really nice. i liked him. i wanted to meet-up with him again. we scheduled to meet on a friday for din-din. i had a much, much longer work day than expected & was in a gnarly mood (totally crabby mood); it was horribly raining something fierce. i called him about 2 hours before we were going to meet and asked if we could resched for saturday brunch or dinner. he said "sure" and that he'd call me back on saturday morning. he did not. i called mid-afternoon to check-in. no call back or message or e-Mail. not sure if he is alive.
    
    (SIDE BAR: i had to google. he is still in business. i understand.) (moi? ... flake)
    
    
16. LAST GUY: (aka TURBINE GUY) i was his first IJAM date. he was my last IJAM date. (but at least i had my fav zocalo hand-shaken margarita!) (moi? ... who?)

next installment?
moniker-counseling for a girlfriend who's on a roll!

*(mr. dwinelle's real name? ed.)

BA dating ... aka landfill-potential (pt. 2)

yesterday's 1/2-dozen is joined by the following 1/2-dozen. before we begin, let's have our little daily mantra moment -

"Then again, if you spend your whole day
walking through a landfill all the time,
you might come to the conclusion
that the planet stinks."

• here we go!
  
  7. . . . endless love: disclosed as part of pr5air epi5-therapy, for those not interested in heading to the hyperlink - here is the short story:
  confession: (in the best calligraphy i could as a 17 yr old) i wrote the lyrics to the sappy song "endless love" for a dude i thought i was totally in love with my first love who deflowered me.
  theoretically "the first"?! (ewww ... i'm grossing out!!!) he and i attended the same college; we never hung out or kept in touch. several years ago, i was linkedin-stalked by endless love dude; we met for dinner - one of those sociology experiments or something. dinner good. conversation meh. didn't keep in touch after that. i hear from mutual alums that he divorced and married/hooked-up with another gal from college who had a HUGE(!!!) crush on him. not much more to say. will close this with a friend's response:
  sactofloyd: "After reading that confession, I was blinking so fast, if you shined a light in my ear you could have used my eyes as strobe lights. You calligraphied endless love for the dude who Round-Upped you? Waste of a good stroke, if you ask me."
  (o.k. - 'nuff said.) pig quotient. 7/10.
  
  8. . . . jerr-bear: speaking of sactofloyd, he "rescued me" after my din-din date with jerr-bear. jerr-bear and i were partners in an art class, so we hung around each other quite a bit - in class and outside of class when doing little assignments. jerr-bear was actually a pretty good friend. well, when the school term finished up, he asked me to din.
  
  here's the din-din deal ... 2 bottles of wine - a red & white. it went something like this - jerr-bear said, "let's order wine - two bottles of wine - one red & one white." when server brought over, jerr-bear said to the server something like, "break 'em both open. ... oh now. pour more [red wine] in her glass ... c'mon. top it off!" and then there was the soft shell crab appetizer that i asked if he wanted to share; he said he loved soft shell crab. well, he loved that crab lots. so much that he separated the soft shell from the crab so the soft shell wouldn't interfere with his eating the crab.
  
  fast forward during the date... when he dropped me off and invited himself over with the whole - "i gotta go pee" excuse - i let him in and quickly SOS-phoned sactofloyd to head over. sactofloyd called back just in time after jerr-bear relieved himself, i answered, then i told jerr-bear sactofloyd was coming by to drop something off. while we were waiting for sactofloyd and talking on the couch, sactofloyd rang the doorbell just seconds after jerr-bear reached over to run his fingers through my hair. i mean, really!!! wouldn't you wanna run your fingers through that hair? of course, back in the day, the hair came with fashionable high-tops and EXTREMELY tangled SPIRAL-PERMED HAIR. ... anyway, don't know where his is. don't remember his last name. pig quotient? 3/10.
  
  9. . . . drive & ditch: while on a formal 'first date' - dinner + play + dessert - in short, after dessert (not a euphemism), he drove me to my car on the rather empty 3rd level of the sutter/stockton SF parking garage at 12:35 AM; we hugged across the stickshift (not a euphemism), i opened the passenger door while i'd started also fishing for my car keys, i started to step out of the car - and maybe i'm making up the next memory, but i could swear the car was moving a little (just ever so slightly).
  
  anyway ... before i even got my key into driver side lock, d&d took off, didn't circle back ... so i thought, "hmmmmm? that's kind of - not cool. he seems polite. he's probably waiting downstairs." nope. just me safely in my car as i waved to the parking attendant on my way out of the garage. where is d&d now? hopefully learning manners. pig quotient? 5/10.
  
  10. . . . alberto v05: my, oh my. another sactofloyd moment. where to start? highlights and tidbits. let's see ... we were set-up by a client, his car broke down as he was driving up to meet me in the state's capital, so we met formally (in the let's date rather than just be friends kind of way) at a hotel somewhere in/near the raisin capital. (btw, this was the continuation of my "long distance relationships" that had actually started in last year of college.) we dated for 2+ months. i ended it for many reasons, with one of his notable traits - quite a stereotypical machismo thing going on. so my ineffective attempts at breaking up lasted over a 3 week period. we ultimately "really" broke up, and he moved farther away.
  
  a few months after the break-up ... he called and wanted to return 2 of my white/cream sweaters. i didn't want to see him, so as timing had it, sactofloyd was was going to be in v05's town. v05 handed a cardboard box to sactofloyd, sactofloyd played mule, and 2 days after the mule received the goods, the box sat closed in my home for 2 weeks. i opened it up ONLY because i got an irate call from v05 asking why hadn't i called him about the box, blah-blah-blah. WHOOPS?! turns out he had a nice card & some roses - now dead roses. dead roses leave marks on white/cream colored sweaters when cooped up in a cardboard box for 2+ weeks, did ya know that? now you do. (so don't do that. don't.)
  
  and where is v05 now? ... oh - that is SOOOOO another story and a really interesting story. i'll just say that the world is VERY, VERY SMALL. i believe karma has served v05 and me very well in this lifetime. he is now married. would we be cordial? yes. pig quotient? 8/10. (uh ... maybe 9/10, if you count ... stuff.)
  
  11. . . . wb#1 (errr ... #1a, #1b): this will be short. just the little f=m+c in this post. having reconnected with cal gal pal and thinking that maybe we may do a reunion of sorts with other folks, wb#1 came to mind. just google-stalked. still in BA. pig quotient? 4/10.
  
  12. . . . school teacher-frat boy (st-fb): this will be short enough. agreed to go to din-din with my friend's frat buddy. (clue #1) st-fb was a high school teacher. his students worked at the black angus where we had dinner. (clue #2) still fully-clothed, i left his place quickly upon his rico suave attempts. [note to self: good thing i didn't take my shoes off; that would have added a few more seconds to my get-a-way.] afterwards, my friend asked for the download, "how'd it go with st-fb? was he a pig?" apparently, i was my friend's sociology experiment. i think my friend won a bet or something. i don't know where my friend is now; i don't care where st-fb is. pig quotient? 8/10.
  

now up to a dozen ... this share-therapy is kind of interesting. sort of. maybe not. but i promised billn i'd provide some non-pr5air a la the little recipe o' BA dating. more later.

BA dating is not so much lately ...

... however, there will be a turn of events.

meanwhile, in the spirit of yesterday's promise to billn for a non-pr5air post, as well as in the spirit of several exchanges with cal gal pal, ice man, sacto floyd, and skateboard dude ... the result, as mentioned yesterday, is a half-baked IJAM-esque tale (recommend you read for context purpose) about my kinda-anemic BA dating with a splash of green a la mode. today's recipe revealed:

• 1/4 t. peeing on a stick
• 1/4 c. #11 asian girls
• 1/2 c. BA dating life
• 1 T IJAM
• 1/2 c. enviro-stuff
• 1 c. napkin life planning
• 1/2 c. apartment therapy
• (optional) 1/4 c. google-stalking
  

[ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: ... and to the former boyfriend, skateboard dude, who (just yesterday) offered up an extremely very blatant offer (with specific examples) to "fix" me of the "dry spell affliction" in the dating department, i thank you for providing me with fodder and inspiration to fulfill my promise to billn.

for whatever reason, you truly believe that last year, at the 80s reunion, when i agreed to temporarily lower my self-respect kiss you because you were freaking badgering me about how i could never have met anyone else who kissed better than you after 20 years and i wanted to get you off my back just wanted to see if i still felt the urge to vomit a spark, ... that my saying it was "awesome" was ACTUALLY THE TRUTH?!?!? honestly you silly, silly, boy. how cute is that?! ... and that you are still the narcissistic man that i remembered as the narcissistic boy? ahhhh!!! because back then, i was too smitten by charm and "flash over substance", i'll admit.

and then just yesterday, your trying to compel me to take you up your offer to "fix" me?! kudos to you for relating why i should revisit an encounter with you for the sake of the environment.

what is it that you said? ... oh yeah! "baby, c'mon. you're green. ya gotta reuse and recycle so you can reduce your dry spell." corny? yes. clever? no. points for trying to stick with a theme? sure, i'll throw you a bone.]

context: a smattering (part 1) of select encounters that lasted longer than a happy hour former boyfriends (or at least interesting dates) identified with occasionally telling affectionate monikers to respect and maintain their anonymity (until you ask me who they were). in other words, given my anemic BA dating life ... WHAT IF i reused or recycled my past encounters/relationships? rather than answer the question, i'll provide the "she said" side for potential landfill options (in no special order) ... that - and a little self-therapy.

"Then again, if you spend your whole day
walking through a landfill all the time,
you might come to the conclusion
that the planet stinks."

(so write-eth ice man)

1. skateboard dude: [a.k.a. the inspiration for this topic]
   more than 20 years ago, in between classes when a friend and i were deciding whether we'd kiss/sleep/touch randomly selected men among the sea of men walking past us in front of dwinelle hall (..."how about him? over there? that one? okay, guy with red backpack? for a second? if you were hammered?"), my friend pointed out skateboard dude, who was flying downhill toward us. i said "no f**king way!" AND of course, several months later, i was crawling surreptitiously under a slow-closing, apartment garage door with his OTHER girlfriend in order to confront him with OUR new found knowledge - that he was two-timing us. D'OH! joke was on us. BONUS of this pseudo-james-bond-ish move? when we knocked on his apartment door and the door opened, it was his THIRD girlfriend. fast forward to the 21st century? look - he pulled that "kiss me" when he was living with a gal. (i know. i played along. his deal, not mine. cold? oh well.) not going there. but we remain friends. pig quotient? 7/10.
   
   
2. meow-meow: living in SD and now married, clearly not on the radar. dated back in '99. however, someone asked "what if meow-meow was on the radar? you guys got along really, really well!" my answer - he fell off the radar after "date" #4 ... awfully charming, funny, and sensitive, he also was an atheist-thumper (think bible-thumper-on-steroids and then flip it over) and a bit too heteroflexible for me. kinda that simple. oh! the moniker? petula-award, 2nd place. pig quotient? 3/10.
   
   
3. purple-pleated-pants (p3): back in the day, some 20+ years ago, p3 was a totally fabulous dancer - a disco dancer, that is. and back then, that was solid gold! turns out ... i was the doppleganger of his ex-gfriend - and i would like to believe i am the 'good' vs. the evil one. the attraction? i don't remember - maybe it was the 7 pleats per pant leg (front & back) and quite the dancer body. fast-forward to the 21st century? my just-this-afternoon, google-stalking may have him as a dance instructor in the BA. pig quotient? dunno. don't remember.
   
   
4. 976-boy!: an accountant by day. a musician by night. i met him on the commuter bus nearly 20 years ago. we got off on the same stop - day-after-day. one day, i decided to sit next to him ('cuz he looked cute; again, that's how i rolled back in the day) and chat it up. a few days later, he was making coconut curry shrimp for me and my roomie. a few weeks later after that, i was waiting for him to get ready to head out to brunch. so while i was sitting around his apartment, i saw (plainly on the coffee table) his phone bill total of $376.43 (or some number like that). it was very close (if not exact) to the phone bill totals i used to have when i dated someone who lived in hawai'i while i was in college in california. of course, i HAD to look at the phone entries out of sheer curiosity - just to see if he was dating someone in hawai'i. (ha!) but i digress. long story short - 976-boy! was completely addicted to 976-porn stuff. wonder what he's doing now that we have the internet? pig quotient? 4/10.
   
   
5. wb#2: already paid homage to him in this smooth skin blog post with a most memorable quote of "mmmm ... look at that asian p***y" - that encounter was actually just last year. with no communications for nearly year and then an e/m from him just this april, i seem to be hovering at the entrance of the landfill, and i seem to stare at him from afar. just being truthful. as i told ice man, "i don't mind a little smut talk, but it's a little disturbing when it appears to be intended to be more of a soliloquy [than a monologue]." petula-award, 1st place. pig quotient? math is hard.
   
   
6. big meat: well, don't make me state the obvious. a former 2-time felon (way before i met him), what a fun guy whom i "dated" earlier in this decade. "dated" is in quotes - as it should be - over a 2 year-ish period and on/off around when the conan o'brien show was on the tube. ('nuff said) i was once reminded by him - "it's not like i'd do anything criminal anymore." i believed him, well, except for his chasing way pain killers (in quantities way more than the prescribed amount as a result of a car accident that he had) with some other drugs of choice (available when it wasn't a totally dry season). during the 2003 christmas season, i received a step #9 phone call. another notable moment? when he flaunted/flailed his attributes while in assless chaps after i had repeatedly thrown-up. i know this is not him, because a friend facebook-stalked him, and he's still living in the socal area. good to know that he won't be featured in intervention. pig quotient? 7/10.

half-a-dozen little IJAM-esque tales should be fulfilling enough of the promise i made to billn. i need to have another reason for a non-pr5air, therefore more later as i think of some other tales.

r|break: ... when blog posts collide, it may be a recipe for disaster (or not)

... or at least when tangents run amok and get swirled around in my grey matter on an early saturday morning.

although it may be considered tmi, deal with your conservative threshold. here's what happens when i'm at a loss of how to fulfill my promise to billn that i would write a non-pr5air post. (WARNING: hyperlink hell post with trying-too-hard bad puns and some blue-ish prose)

in the spirit and with the intention to keep my promise to billn - AND - with a somewhat limited creative bent this weekend, i asked myself - "what can i throw together for billn?" ... turns out, as i age i have learned, my memory not being what it used to be, i may simply draw on this past week's memorable-enough events - - - previous blog posts, e/m exchanges with iceman, sense of nostalgia with my 1-yr work anniversary coming up, telephone conversations with friends, dinner with cal gal pal, and work stuff. "ah-ha! i'll hyperlink the hell out of sh** (or repost) and mash-up my week to serve up a post for billn!"

the ingredients? ... just like a tasty baked good blueberry muffin recipe, here's my test-kitchen, weekend recipe (with ingredients and portions that may later vary) -

• 1/4 teaspoon ... peeing on a stick - with yesterday's t.v. ad, current reality is i can use my pennies for something else that may result in needing to pee on a stick (?!)
  
• 1/4-cup ... #11 asian girls - was talking with a friend about the yellow fever yesterday (and how i also may see wb#2)
  
• 1/2 cup ... BA dating life - it's why i don't need to worry about peeing on a stick for now
• 1 tablespoon ... IJAM - i sent to iceman a link to the monikers-r-us SD dating moments and also had an oracle-ish moment
  
• 1/2 cup ... enviro-stuff - it contributes to my passion in life, so i strive to reduce, reuse, recycle
• 1 cup ... napkin life planning - one of the many reasons why i so **heart** and cherish sactofloyd!
• 1/2 cup ... apartment therapy - with a bit of home organizing still afoot and getting caught up on my fave magazines (which includes cooking stuff)

directions (just like the little muffin recipe!) ... preheat oven at 375 deg F. make sure your prep station is nice, tidy and clean. consider, perhaps spit-shining wiping clean the countertop(s). then, in a large bowl, combine the dry ingredients. cut in the wet ingredients. stir until moistened. fill paper-lined or greased muffin cups (... i choose to use both, just in case) to about two-thirds full. comfortably situate the pan in the middle of the rack for at least 69-minutes depending on your elevation and all ... (i know, i know!!! - stop trying just a little too hard (bwahahahaha!). knock it off, already!)

how will i know when it's ready to serve? ... take a toothpick and poke the top of the tasty-treat to see if there are any crumbs sticking to the toothpick or not? and you just keep poking it until the toothpick comes out clean. and unlike the blueberry muffin recipe, remove the pan with a towel (or something) and let it sit for a while to just air dry. while this is going on, get all the utensils nicely cleaned up and put away. and make sure that kitchen countertop is spit-shined wiped clean again, just in case you wanna serve up something else!

yield? ... an IJAM-esque tale about my kinda-anemic BA dating with a splash of green a la mode.

for now, i'll end this with the rather inspirational (or at least thought-provoking, to say the least) iceman oracle-ish moment:

"Then again, if you spend your whole day walking through a landfill all the time, you might come to the conclusion that the planet stinks."

enjoy your saturday
while i figure out what ingredients i'm really going to mash-up.

r|break: ... more iceman potpourri

while anxiously awaiting for ddust's epi5 recap ('cuz epi4 recap was fabu), as an add-on to the last music break in potpourri, here are my music exchanges with iceman.

• kings of convenience ... (i have loved their album 'riot on an empty street' ... but they aren't out in the u.s. touring)
• david ford ... (i didn't drive the 4 hrs to sta barbara to see him; after i posted a clip of one of his videos ... i ultimately was contacted and received a gratis CD ... now i have two.)
• helio sequence ... (have their recent album; missed them when they were in s.f.)
• the shins ... which i'm sure you know them. got their recent wincing the night away
  (like the videos to some of the songs on this album ... turn on me video is ... ? but it's on my ipod, anyway. some videos can be downloaded at subpop.)
  
• dignan ... (who canceled their little coffehouse mountain view venue show (aug 12 was SOOO on my calendar) - and just weren't able to get booked in california, according to the e/m from their 'publicity' person - - - yes! i had to ask what happened??? ... so i was bummed. and am going to pick up their music.)
  
• bon iver ... (still have to pick up music; found out from a blog i visit ocassionally)
• ingrid michaelson ... (and not just because of 'the way i am' or 'keep breathing' tho' i like those ... there is a song on her CD not on her myspace that somehow hits me.)
• voxtrot ... (i have their 'voxtrot' CD; missed them when they came to SF late last year; by chance on my east coast-leaf peeper vacation trip, i was hanging out w/my friend in northampton - and they were playing. she, however, was not that interested in seeing them.)
• evans blue ... (go figure, some standard rock - and for whatever reason - i love this band's music/lyrics. i would love to see these guys in concert.)
  

and almost lastly - i check out a few music blogs every once in a while ...

• cafe eclectica music
• la blogotheque ... their take away shows
• ryan's music blog ... (where i found out about david ford)
  

(tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap.
anxiously awaiting.)

r|break: ... potpourri

i gots me nothing(!) organized to post but i have various "shiny penny" (a.k.a. random sh**) in my head. so here goes, in no special order:

• i used to sew! ... with a high school moment (oh .... 25+ years ago!) of "rami-wear", i made my senior ball dress. (i thought about this today because i am STILL very slowly moving stuff back and forth in cleaning out my garage, and i realized i either sold my sewing machine or left it in SD.)
• music break ... iceman and i exchanged music info for tunes to pass the time. so here are some iceman suggestions (alternative, indie, pop, rock, world):
• Dengue Fever (. . . check out the songs "Seeing Hands," "Sober Driver," and "Tiger Phone Card")
• The Raveonettes ("Love in a Trash Can")
• Duke Spirit ("Lassoo")
• The National
• Feist
• Devotchka
• Beirut
• Jesse Sykes (check out "The Dreaming Dead")
• Rilo Kiley
• Jude
  
• My Morning Jacket
  
• when i go to and leave from work ... i can't avoid seeing this neighboring establishment. (no, it's not affiliated with my alma mater, as far as i'm aware.) i am told they have a good friday buffet deal. (i'll stick with the sweet potato fries at zebulon any day.)
  

potpourri over for now

bi the gay ...

... or heteroflexible? - - - either way, a new term (because i live under a rock sometimes!) for which i was introduced earlier this week by iceman (... using this moniker because i don't quite know what other moniker options i have for him at this point) during an e/m exchange that included -

"... read a savage love column ... occasional attractions to non-hetero stuff is a bit misleading and misrepresentative."

he found the article here for which i found interesting, particularly because i've had this conversation and debates with several friends - straight, gay, bi, anti-social - for many years. (and meanwhile, my apologies to barista boy.) as i told iceman -

"i don't know where i land, but given the chance to french kiss sade, i'd do it."

(i believe i have been saying this since diamond life.)

nevertheless, this exchange with iceman reminded me about a video clip that TBCS sent me a couple of years ago - a little clip during an atlantis cruise disco tea dance.

for many reasons (that will go unexplained here), i was sworn to some level of secrecy back then (and rightfully so!). however, i have decided the statutory limit has expired (and TBCS said it was o.k. to post, even tho' it's fair game on youtube, but i digress), so i've posted this clip (for the 6 of you who are comfortable with your sexuality - and the 2 of you who have 2 kids and may need to know the atlantis cruise is a different kind of "family cruise")

a few features (however, there are more and i'm sure you can figure them out):

• opening - head rubbing & intro to TBCS in his l'il trunks
• 1:10 - TBCS again
• 1:19 - hot tub bubbles in the mix and then some (!)
• 1:51 - more TBCS
• 2:34 - song change ... and if you don't know this song, shame on you!!! for the uninitiated ... enjoy!
  

enjoy the rest of your weekend,
whether you are
straight, gay, bi, anti-social ... whatever!