cCacao+ clan: it will be nearly 2 months ...

... since the whole clickety-clack, yippity-yap, zippity-zap and peek-ity-boo. in other words, i've been keeping some friends (from over here) updated about the on-line world for which they may live vicariously, as well as have a little insight to my quirky ba dating activities. and though i wasn't intending to jump into another update, i figured it has been quite sometime since i've posted an update (over a month for a real post update versus the somewhat mysterious back-story "upon request" updagte). that said, here we go ...

last post ... nearly 2 months ago OVER HERE (june 13) where i had 1 yippity-yap, 15 clickety-clack, and 34 tbd. in normal words, 1 person i spoke with on the phone, 15 peeps with whom some form of communications (typing only) was going on, and 34 in a queue (aka to be determined). also, at that point, there were 109 zippity-zaps - or in normal words, the number of those closed out (aka no further communications). so where are have things been since more than a month ago?

starting out today ... since last login, i've got - 14 clickety-clack : 30 tbd : 302 zippity-zaps. yes, overall since nearly 2 months ago, a total of 346 have been forwarded. now it's time to do some quick weekend tidying up.

short version ... i've met 1% (one percent) of the people thrown my way. in other words, i've met 3 in person -

• 1 with whom there was not a mutual connection,
  
• 1 with whom there was a type of connection, and
  
• 1 with whom there is a connection still to be determined.
  

in other words,

• i closed the door on one,
  
• another one is where the threshold has been crossed and it appears the door has been left open, and
  
• i'm kind of standing at the doorway, not too sure what to do yet.
  

off the beaten path ... HOWEVER, one other interesting development - i have met one person through a good friend of mine, and interestingly enough, there is a type of connection. and although quite a bit involved as to how this evolved (and some stuff to ponder, to say the least), i've decided to walk through that door for now and will see if he decides to keep that door open and be alright with it all.

so two phone numbers (with real names - not the whole moniker thing, which is a good, GOOD SIGN!!!) have remained stored on my phone.

recap of how i'm approaching these posts ... for the cCacao clan, i promised i would NOT post about the folks i meet; i am keeping that promise. of course, throw a little chocolate, sushi, wine, and/or something with garlic my way, and i'll spew a bit in person. (come on - i have to deal with and release my occasional girl-neurosis somehow.) for the most part, i agreed my posts would be about what's going on in my grey matter and not a kiss and tell (if i even got to the kiss & tell). i'm letting you know the 'stats' of number of matches, etc., and i'm including any voice in my head (that bull sh** speak that swirls around as i find myself somewhat not immediately decisive).

have added video-updates for more scuttle ... in addition to the blog posts, i have been keeping some peeps up on the what's what?! via fbook, and i have started doing video updates to ease up on the typing. the videos are relatively unscripted of me just dead pan talking. i'm still getting used to seeing my assymetrical nostrils, the rolling of the eyes, and some freakish thing i do with my lower-lip movement when talking.

voices in my head ... given it has been a month, there have been quite a few voices in my head. so here go -

• decade forward/decade back ... this is my issue, apparently for which i've gotten over myself - the age difference issue. contacted by someone 10 years younger, i was a bit in disbelief. wtf?! bad me. i'm over myself and my stereotyping/profiling. what was i thinking?! yes, this is one where the door has been left open. age - not an issue.
  
• with child/children ... this has not been an issue with me, however, admittedly, i believe it's simply because i have several friends who are single or divorced with kids, and after talking with them about their hurdles (real and perceived) with dating. i especially appreciate what a girlfriend has shared with her experiences, where her daughter is a result of sperm-donor-daddy. her having to explain this has not been as straightforward of a task. i also especially appreciate what a gal pal guy friend has shared, given he has joint/co-parenting custody of his daughter, so she is very much integral in his life, as is his ex-wife.
• tnts1d ... aka "things not to say on the 1st date" - here is when tnts1d is NOT appropriate - when it's because you don't have enough balls to throw down the "see ya" card. so don't write or say something that you know is so inappropriate that it's just 'cuz you are a wuss. so i have wondered when tnts1d is shared, is that simply being honest and open? is it o.k. to divulge my sexy-ugly crush on willem dafoe or share my 25 blah-blah-things ('cuz it's on my blog, anyway)? or is there some time that should pass by before a guy explains why he has a rash in a special place?!
  
• text messaging and then some ... oh yes! it happens to (and can be instigated by) people who are in their 3rd and 4th decade of life. how did i feel about a few progressive text msgs starting out as fun fun and evolving to hot, sexy, and then a bit on the risque/porn side of things? uhm? i felt warm?! (trick question. no right or wrong answer.) different. not standard for me. and not an issue.
  
• make me laugh - make you laugh ... yes, we all want someone who has a sense of humor. we all like to laugh. in fact, it seems (next to honesty and the like) to be one of those qualities often heralded as an important trait. apparently, "humor" appears to mean different things.
  
  i am my funny; you are your funny. just because you think i'm funny, doesn't mean you have a sense of humor. (apparently, this has struck a chord - so maybe i need to reign it in a bit - or not!) if you are going to say you have a sense of humor or are looking for a person with a sense of humor, be a little more specific - - - keep in mind there is a BIG (!!!) difference among the humor-pool concept, as a for instance, these are all slightly different (but can be kind of related) -
  
  • being physically capable of laughing,
  • being capable of recognizing when something is generally funny,
  • being able to make another person laugh,
  • laughing at someone, and
  • laughing at yourself
    
• courtesy ... is it when you open the door? when you wait until i get my ass in the car and take off? or is this even important as part of first impressions? i have found i waiver on this quite a bit. it may be the "training" i've had from guys who have lamented about the pressures they feel during their first impressions moments.
  
• blog posts ... to blog or not to blog about my sh**?! well, i realized something last week, at some point, the object of my affection should (ideally must) be able to stomach this thing i do - which is my amateur, self-absorbed stand-up improv of my personal life. what to do? still pondering.
  
• who has viewed me? ... this is an option on that on-line thinkgy that discloses the actual name/location of the guy (or there is a setting for at anonymous so who knows who has looked at my profile). for me, i have mine set so someone can see whether i've viewed his profile. presuming i've contacted someone, if after 2-3 wks someone has not responded to my initial contact AND he has viewed my profile, it's a zippity-zap. it's NOT that hard to deal with the multiple-choice-itis. it's harmless, it's not a commitment, there are no bodily fluids being exchanged (key word: exchanged), and really, REALLY?!
  
• 20 or less ... i have decided that i will have NOT MORE than 20 in communications of some form (and much less, if i can help it out) and not more than 20 just in the queue. this forces me to make some decisions about zippity-zap (aka closing someont out).
  

today's damage, triage, update ... i have done a bit of weeding out. i've decided to close out several that have not responded past the 2 week time frame. here is where this day's efforts have progressed ...

• matches still to clickety-clack (deciding what to do) = 15
  
• clickety-clack 12 + peekity-boo 2 =
  
  • 3 whom i've met - where i plan to close out 1 of 3 this evening
  • 1 where a first msg STILL has to be sent (the ONLY time i'm a bit conservative; you wanna yip-yap? send over a note with the first salvo, buddy.)
  • 1 where the exchange has been lagging on his part, and yes, i sent a msg (tick-tock)
  • 3 that are in the post-2 weeks time frame (tick-tock)
  • 6 where i initiated contact today
    
• closed out = 319 (i zippity-zap'd and got zippity-zap'd.)

wow - 348 peeps thrown this direction in roughly 2 months.

2 yippity-yap | 14 clickety-clack | 15 tbd