cCacao clan: my nigerian prince (aka ibillic) ... got blog fodder?

my nigerian prince-wannabe-boyfriend
(aka ibillic)
is in trouble.
spare some change?

"... Honey can you help me with this? if you can't just know that i will understand, i am just trying my luck anywhere... a drowning man will clutch at any thing so please if you can help me then that means that you will have to do a westernunion money transfer of exactly $1850 to J***s Fisher in Beijing China who is the remittance officer of the cargo company for him to now release my materials to come to Oman..."

cCacao stories with a twist ... i will still be providing the biweekly update of this effort over here, however, i ALSO will be posting about my 2 week+ experience with my nigerian prince, aka the italian-born-in-london-living-in-california (aka ibillic, you decide how to pronounce - EYE-bil-ik or eye-BIL-ik or eye-bil-LIK - it's make believe, anyway).

coffee break time ... take a little coffee break with me and my new travel mug - i am not a paper cup (click image) - (more fun stuff over here) that i got from influx (san diego) last week. LOVING IT!!! (and there is a little silicone sleeve, also; i chose brown)

let's chat!!!

romance scammer in the mix(!) ... how f**kin' awesome is that?! i had heard a little about this because of extraordinary stories that men and women would share on talk shows like oprah. i mean, yes, when i was emailing, there were some "huh? really?!" characteristics of the prolific email exchanges between ibillic and me that have evolved over the past 2 weeks. and admittedly, i have shared them with friends, as well. (and if you insist, i'll figure out a way to give back the minutes of your life that i inadvertently squandered with my story-telling, but really ... they were entertaining, yes?!)

HOWEVER, because of a specific email i received yesterday morning (which was preceded by 2 other emails setting up this scenario) after just 2 weeks into a volley of email communications, 3 short phone calls, and 1 longer phone call with a yippity-yap, the USD$ of exactly 1,850 was thrown in the mix. my reaction yesterday afternoon included ...

• "ahhhhhhh!" (sad face) ... bummed that this is not the "real" person that was actually the "made up" person (getting over it - NEXT.)
• read this article sent over by rexy on romance fraud over here
• read through this website over here to get up to speed on the whole romance scam stuff (and reading through similar info elsewhere on the net)
  
• notified the little service about my nigerian prince, ibillic
  

why is this so "f**kin' awesome"?! ... this is f**kin awesome because my first-hand-ish experience will serve as a bit of blog fodder. as far as i know, i don't have any friends that have experienced a romance scam or have chosen to fess up to experiencing one. i've heard a little bit about this and often wondered how a person could get sucked into this.

well, i can only speak for my own experience, so in the spirit of the cCacao efforts, i'm up for telling my story - i got sucked in ... despite the soul-patch, blanding strip, halliburton, lng, and crazy english. (yes, i'll explain these at some point.) and by sucked in, i mean i actively emailed ibillic (who i understand may simply be comprised of a team of up to six nigerians). i'd love to hear from anyone who has experienced something like this, particularly for the blog fodder.

i did not know that i have a little romantic bone in my body (thanks to kathy-chat before the s.f. giants game over some belgian ale), and after reading some of the information on the web about romance scams, i am fascinated about exploring how i got sucked in to the potential opportunity for romance. (well, i think i know, just sayin ...) my initial thoughts - it's the kathy-chat intersecting coincidentally with the ibillic emails within the same timeframe. (final answer)

voices in my head & ponderings ... keeping to my promise that i would not slam anyone (even ibillic) as i go through this cCacao effort, i will share the voices in my head and what i have been/am pondering as i have gone/am going through this.

turns out, the prolific email exchanges with ibillic has, in my opinion, reinforced (in some cases) and transformed (in other cases) my thoughts about dating - all in a good way for the most part. and because of my whole self-aware kick, surprisingly, i have shed some little walls around me - granted because of a made-up-persona, which i have come to understand is really what was presented to me by the nigerian prince, ibillic, and what i chose to see and not see. (how adult of me, yes?!)

go figure! in the end (well, that's another story still evolving although soon to end - i mean, really ... the curiosity is too much for me to see how far the scammers will go so i'm ... well ... poking the bear, kind of, but not in a bad way. it's a closure thing, you know.), no money exchanged, however, there has been quite a bit of email exchanges. admittedly throughout the exchanges, there were yellow flags here and there; however, i also found myself quite intrigued, with my interest and curiosity piqued.

teeing-up topics for the future blog posts ... 'cuz it's a bit of a writing therapy thing, also - a few things i intend to write about until i bleed this topic dry (or get tired of myself writing about it) ...

• whirlwind wooing and sucked-in ... course of events over the two week ibillic whirlwind - with the prolific emailing, the events are nicely organized (lovin' that gmail) so i can dig in to the details
  
• comparing with others ... from the different websites on this topic, i'll see how my experience compares with others. so far, it's kind of textbook.
  
• ibillic persona ... and pictures (!), and from what i have read, i may be screwed because of pictures i shared (no, there were no nudes, thank you) that may be used by scammers
  
• to see or not to see? ... exploring what i chose to see and not see while being sucked-in

other topics? ... i'm always up for a little prodding on what else i can write about, AND i'm always up for just answering questions that may spur some topics to write about. if you are thinking, "really?! you freakin' got sucked in? what the ...?" ... well, if your questions are truly not rhetorical (or judgemental), just pony up!

o.k. - me and my
i am not a paper cup
have a date with peet's this morning!

cCacao+ clan: month 2 + heading into week 2 (400?!)

last login ... was a very (!) quick one last week OVER HERE. this, too, shall be quick. closed out at 2 yippity-yap | 9 clickety-clack | 19 tbd | 351 closed.

starting out this evening ... there are 8 clickety-clack and 25 tbd (with 362 zippity-zap'd). i have spent the week NOT pressing that crack-button and decided this evening that i would. (the 7 per day rate has dramatically reduced over the past days.) the result?! make that 30 tbd. (for the informal record, i've received on a daily basis from zero to five since month 2 started.)

400 - four hundred - yes, 400 have been thrown my way since late may ... (it's a funky numbers game) so what has been delivered this eve? my initial take of some of the tbds - a kind of "wtf?! scare me" moment reading through one of the tbds ... i may truly have more testosterone than a few tbds ... sometimes a person looks way(!) older than they say they are. and apparently, i am too lazy to triage but had enough umph to press the button early-on. so the closing stats -

• matches still to clickety-clack (deciding what to do) = 30
  (gotta get that to 20 or less, for housekeeping purposes)
  
• clickety-clack 8 with peekity-boo 2 and yippity-yap 1 ... so here is the breakdown of this jibberish ...
  
  • 2 whom i've met (and it appears one may no longer be an option, while i am seeing what's up with the other)
    
  • 1 where a first msg STILL has to be sent (the ONLY time i'm a bit conservative; send over a note with the first salvo, buddy. this may be closed next round)
  • 1 where the yippity-yap started (and it's kind of not clickin' and a bit of a yawn; there is a suggestion that we meet up)
    
  • 4 that are in the post-2 weeks time frame (tick-tock)
• closed out = 362 (i zippity-zap'd and got zippity-zap'd.)

2 peekity-boo | 1 yippity-yap |
8 clickety-clack | 30 tbd

cCacao+ clan: it will be nearly 2 months ...

... since the whole clickety-clack, yippity-yap, zippity-zap and peek-ity-boo. in other words, i've been keeping some friends (from over here) updated about the on-line world for which they may live vicariously, as well as have a little insight to my quirky ba dating activities. and though i wasn't intending to jump into another update, i figured it has been quite sometime since i've posted an update (over a month for a real post update versus the somewhat mysterious back-story "upon request" updagte). that said, here we go ...

last post ... nearly 2 months ago OVER HERE (june 13) where i had 1 yippity-yap, 15 clickety-clack, and 34 tbd. in normal words, 1 person i spoke with on the phone, 15 peeps with whom some form of communications (typing only) was going on, and 34 in a queue (aka to be determined). also, at that point, there were 109 zippity-zaps - or in normal words, the number of those closed out (aka no further communications). so where are have things been since more than a month ago?

starting out today ... since last login, i've got - 14 clickety-clack : 30 tbd : 302 zippity-zaps. yes, overall since nearly 2 months ago, a total of 346 have been forwarded. now it's time to do some quick weekend tidying up.

short version ... i've met 1% (one percent) of the people thrown my way. in other words, i've met 3 in person -

• 1 with whom there was not a mutual connection,
  
• 1 with whom there was a type of connection, and
  
• 1 with whom there is a connection still to be determined.
  

in other words,

• i closed the door on one,
  
• another one is where the threshold has been crossed and it appears the door has been left open, and
  
• i'm kind of standing at the doorway, not too sure what to do yet.
  

off the beaten path ... HOWEVER, one other interesting development - i have met one person through a good friend of mine, and interestingly enough, there is a type of connection. and although quite a bit involved as to how this evolved (and some stuff to ponder, to say the least), i've decided to walk through that door for now and will see if he decides to keep that door open and be alright with it all.

so two phone numbers (with real names - not the whole moniker thing, which is a good, GOOD SIGN!!!) have remained stored on my phone.

recap of how i'm approaching these posts ... for the cCacao clan, i promised i would NOT post about the folks i meet; i am keeping that promise. of course, throw a little chocolate, sushi, wine, and/or something with garlic my way, and i'll spew a bit in person. (come on - i have to deal with and release my occasional girl-neurosis somehow.) for the most part, i agreed my posts would be about what's going on in my grey matter and not a kiss and tell (if i even got to the kiss & tell). i'm letting you know the 'stats' of number of matches, etc., and i'm including any voice in my head (that bull sh** speak that swirls around as i find myself somewhat not immediately decisive).

have added video-updates for more scuttle ... in addition to the blog posts, i have been keeping some peeps up on the what's what?! via fbook, and i have started doing video updates to ease up on the typing. the videos are relatively unscripted of me just dead pan talking. i'm still getting used to seeing my assymetrical nostrils, the rolling of the eyes, and some freakish thing i do with my lower-lip movement when talking.

voices in my head ... given it has been a month, there have been quite a few voices in my head. so here go -

• decade forward/decade back ... this is my issue, apparently for which i've gotten over myself - the age difference issue. contacted by someone 10 years younger, i was a bit in disbelief. wtf?! bad me. i'm over myself and my stereotyping/profiling. what was i thinking?! yes, this is one where the door has been left open. age - not an issue.
  
• with child/children ... this has not been an issue with me, however, admittedly, i believe it's simply because i have several friends who are single or divorced with kids, and after talking with them about their hurdles (real and perceived) with dating. i especially appreciate what a girlfriend has shared with her experiences, where her daughter is a result of sperm-donor-daddy. her having to explain this has not been as straightforward of a task. i also especially appreciate what a gal pal guy friend has shared, given he has joint/co-parenting custody of his daughter, so she is very much integral in his life, as is his ex-wife.
• tnts1d ... aka "things not to say on the 1st date" - here is when tnts1d is NOT appropriate - when it's because you don't have enough balls to throw down the "see ya" card. so don't write or say something that you know is so inappropriate that it's just 'cuz you are a wuss. so i have wondered when tnts1d is shared, is that simply being honest and open? is it o.k. to divulge my sexy-ugly crush on willem dafoe or share my 25 blah-blah-things ('cuz it's on my blog, anyway)? or is there some time that should pass by before a guy explains why he has a rash in a special place?!
  
• text messaging and then some ... oh yes! it happens to (and can be instigated by) people who are in their 3rd and 4th decade of life. how did i feel about a few progressive text msgs starting out as fun fun and evolving to hot, sexy, and then a bit on the risque/porn side of things? uhm? i felt warm?! (trick question. no right or wrong answer.) different. not standard for me. and not an issue.
  
• make me laugh - make you laugh ... yes, we all want someone who has a sense of humor. we all like to laugh. in fact, it seems (next to honesty and the like) to be one of those qualities often heralded as an important trait. apparently, "humor" appears to mean different things.
  
  i am my funny; you are your funny. just because you think i'm funny, doesn't mean you have a sense of humor. (apparently, this has struck a chord - so maybe i need to reign it in a bit - or not!) if you are going to say you have a sense of humor or are looking for a person with a sense of humor, be a little more specific - - - keep in mind there is a BIG (!!!) difference among the humor-pool concept, as a for instance, these are all slightly different (but can be kind of related) -
  
  • being physically capable of laughing,
  • being capable of recognizing when something is generally funny,
  • being able to make another person laugh,
  • laughing at someone, and
  • laughing at yourself
    
• courtesy ... is it when you open the door? when you wait until i get my ass in the car and take off? or is this even important as part of first impressions? i have found i waiver on this quite a bit. it may be the "training" i've had from guys who have lamented about the pressures they feel during their first impressions moments.
  
• blog posts ... to blog or not to blog about my sh**?! well, i realized something last week, at some point, the object of my affection should (ideally must) be able to stomach this thing i do - which is my amateur, self-absorbed stand-up improv of my personal life. what to do? still pondering.
  
• who has viewed me? ... this is an option on that on-line thinkgy that discloses the actual name/location of the guy (or there is a setting for at anonymous so who knows who has looked at my profile). for me, i have mine set so someone can see whether i've viewed his profile. presuming i've contacted someone, if after 2-3 wks someone has not responded to my initial contact AND he has viewed my profile, it's a zippity-zap. it's NOT that hard to deal with the multiple-choice-itis. it's harmless, it's not a commitment, there are no bodily fluids being exchanged (key word: exchanged), and really, REALLY?!
  
• 20 or less ... i have decided that i will have NOT MORE than 20 in communications of some form (and much less, if i can help it out) and not more than 20 just in the queue. this forces me to make some decisions about zippity-zap (aka closing someont out).
  

today's damage, triage, update ... i have done a bit of weeding out. i've decided to close out several that have not responded past the 2 week time frame. here is where this day's efforts have progressed ...

• matches still to clickety-clack (deciding what to do) = 15
  
• clickety-clack 12 + peekity-boo 2 =
  
  • 3 whom i've met - where i plan to close out 1 of 3 this evening
  • 1 where a first msg STILL has to be sent (the ONLY time i'm a bit conservative; you wanna yip-yap? send over a note with the first salvo, buddy.)
  • 1 where the exchange has been lagging on his part, and yes, i sent a msg (tick-tock)
  • 3 that are in the post-2 weeks time frame (tick-tock)
  • 6 where i initiated contact today
    
• closed out = 319 (i zippity-zap'd and got zippity-zap'd.)

wow - 348 peeps thrown this direction in roughly 2 months.

2 yippity-yap | 14 clickety-clack | 15 tbd

cCacao+ clan: start of week 4

last login ... was QUITE a bit ago - for graphical geek stuff OVER HERE and for a bit of a week 2 digest OVER HERE. as of starting this post, the ending stats (of what seemed to be yesteryear) are -

• WHAT WAS THEN ... 7 clickety-clack : 28 tbd : 66 zippity-zap
• THIS IS FOR NOW ... 17 clickety-clack : 47 tbd : 95 zippity-zap

yippity-yap ... NEWSFLASH!!! - got an AUDIBLE yippity-yap! have this post as just a quick check-in that the cCacao stuff is still going on. (fbook folks ... i'll try another vlog later.)

reminder ... i'm not going to "ijam" story-tell. posts are intended to be about what is going on over on my end with the voices in my head and pondering about type of thing. here? no typing and telling. no yipping and yelling. but perhaps there may be a rant & rave at some point. maybe. (a few more details of voices in my head and a smidge more background about these cCacao posts is part of a series of notes i send to a group of peeps on fbook. lucky them ... ha!)

voices in my head ... still in my head and not yet on blog (simply because of needing to get in the space to write out), the voices include ... with child, age (the "decade forward-decade back"), civil servant, farm town, make me laugh - make you laugh, tnts1d, pop culture, and "ARGH!!! do NOT forget to turn off the setting!"

ARGH!!! ... i won't go into details now, but the deal is, if i do not turn off the setting that sends out the 7-a-day, the numbers just CLIMB! i do not likes me the climbing numbers. actually, i do not likes that i forgot to turn that setting off. my bad. ... phew! got that out of my system. that said, i (and some tbd peeps) did a l'il housekeeping this morning. so from 17:47:95, closing stats this morning are 15:34:109 as follows ...

• matches still to clickety-clack = 34
  
• clickety-clacking = 16 (my turn for 1 clickety-clack; 1 faux-yippity-yap; 1 actual yippity-yap; 13 with with multiple-choice-itis, of which 2 where pokety-pok'd)
  
• closed out = 109 (i zippity-zap'd and got zippity-zap'd.)

and now that i have the fortune of audible yippity-yap, i have added a stat.

1 yippity-yap | 15 clickety-clack | 34 tbd

(note to self:
figure out cutesy term
to be used for the ACTUAL visual.)

cCacao+ clan|break: how many per day ...

how many tbd maybe clickety-clacks
have i received over the past 13 days?

approximately 7 per day
(some data missing.
i should have a total of ~103, but oh well.
who's really counting anyway?)

cCacao+ clan: week 2 - day after hump day

last login ... monday evening over here. 6 clickety-clack:20 tbd. and now the following is a kind of digest about activities of week 2 through morning after hump day (aka thursday morn).

week 2 (day 11, tues morning) ... early login. starting out? 9 clickety-clack:24 tbd. i got another 7 tbd. (rate IS about 7 a day.) i turned off the "receive new tbd" feature. 1 new tbd closed me out; 1 old tbd closed me out; 1 old tbd started clickety-clack.

interestingly enough, the 1 tbd that closed me out is the same one that i had ALMOST closed out yesterday but did a u-turn on. (note to self: go with 1st instinct) and btw, the 9 clickety-clack includes the closed out action. (note to self: come up with a cutesy hyphenated term for closed out)

i decided to respond to the new clickety-clack. AND i sent an email to made-it-past-the-full-gauntlet-clickety-clack. a quick review of the remaining 6 tbd ('cuz 24 is a number i don't want to see after work) and ... (i) lean profile, (ii) romantic tenor, (iii) possibility, (iv) lean profile, (v) beefy profile, (vi) beefy-ish profile. i will take action after work. therefore ending at 7:24.

cutesy-hyphenated term (check. off the to-do list) ... talked with ponytail, and through discussions, the term shall be zippity-zap ... zippity-zap, zippity-zap'd, and zippity-zap'n for close, closed, and closing, respectively.

day 11, eve - after work login ... started tally at 8:23. 1 person zippity-zap'd me, so it's really more like 7:23. then i turned on the make-my-tbd-list-longer feature.

day 12, wednesday early morn ... 7:26. WHY did i restart the make-my-tbd-list-longer feature? WHAT was i thinking when i turned it back on?! i turned it back off. meanwhile ... only 3 (vs. 7) new tbds made it through the pipeline. am waiting for a clickety-clack from the ALMOST yippity-yap. sent 2nd questions of clickety-clack back. i zippity-zap'd 2 of the 3. final tally heading into this week's humpday - 7 clickety-clack: 24 tbd.

day 12, wednesday after work ... 7:24. i turned back on the tbd. i pressed the make-my-tbd-list-longer button. 7:29. WTF? that means 5 more or a total of 8 tbds for wednesday. thanks to ff and c gal, i "nudged" 2 clickety-clacks; this means i pokity-poked 2 clickety-clacks who haven't clickety-clack'd back. i got zippity-zap'd by 1 (because i live too far. what's new?). stepped out for some guac & chips. ... new energy and zippity-zap'd 5. and then - vegged out the rest of the night. ended at 7:23.

day 13, thursday morning before work ... of course - 7:30. 7 new tbds. got a clickety-clack from ALMOST yippity-yap. and the msg? phone number + email. (next week - yippity-yap'n!) as a result, i exchanged my info, also. (i googled my full email to see what pops up ... only 3 results and the meaty one is a blog comment on ddust's site. when i googled the "username" portion, five google pages listed with enviro-related stuff and way old stuff from the late '90s on the san diECO greenmap effort i was doing with my then-boyfriend who was finishing up grad school at u-dubb. note to self: breathe deeply & stretch.)

as for other clickety-clacks? i need to send 1 clickety-clack with THE 3 questions. i'm going to use the "roller coaster" question by sn2l, aka say-no-to-lampreys cCacao fellow. i'll try not to go for any of the bajillion questions, but if i get kinda stuck, will pick from the bingo-balls-of-questions. as for the new 7 tbd, here is what i chose to do (and/or my predictions) this thurs morn -

• l @ s ... no action taken. tbd may zippity-zap me.
• j @ a ... lean profile (aka tbd-speak). will remain about another week.
  
• j @ la ... interesting tbd-speak. i may clickety-clack, tho' tbd may zippity-zap me.photo - hmmm?
  
• d @ sj ... liked the tbd-speak. i am quite likely to clickety-clack. has daughter.
  
• b @ sj ... kind of lean tbd-speak. i may clickety-clack, but i wouldn't be surprised if i got zippity-zap'd.
  
• a @ s ... interesting tbd-speak. i may clickety-clack. one of the photos - really?!
  
• a @ sc ... fun tbd-speak. is more than a half-decade younger. i will clickety-clack (after work), but i wouldn't be surprised if i got zippity-zap'd.

voices in my head ... will post later on thoughts about - with child. age (both ways). civil servant life. farm town. and whatever comes up during today. meanwhile ...

• matches still to clickety-clack = 30
  
• clickety-clacking = 7 (pokity-poked 2 with multiple-choice-itis; 3 still with multiple-choice-itis; my turn for 1 clickety-clack; )
  
• closed out = 66 (10 since last post - i zippity-zap'd 8.)

7 clickety-clack | 30 tbd

cCacao+ clan: week 2 begins with a change of pace

last login ... just this monday morning over here with 5 clickety-clack: 22 tbd.

week 2 (day 10 early eve login) ... well, i had to login, if i'm to stay true to this morn's statement. i got a clickety-clack (with 2nd questions clickety-clack person). this means that each of us made it through each others gauntlet of questions. neither of us got multiple-choice-itis, were dismayed by must have/can't stand, nor found the set of open ended questions of concern. actually, i haven't read clickety-clack's answer yet, so here i go.

2nd set of questions ... i chose 3 questions that were not part of the pre-selected group of bajillion of questions. i followed suit with clickety-clack's decision to go with unique questions. and actually, the answers to the questions i asked are of interest to me. reading, reading, ... reading ...

... and done. i have read his answers. nothing deal breaker-ish, though clickety-clack would have to be relatively in left-field/scary-land to provide a deal breaker-ish response. clickety-clack's answers were responsive and to the point. one of the questions i had asked was for clickety-clack to provide an example(s) of something. there wasn't one provided, but the response was responsive enough.

voices in my head ... well, i got home somewhat later in the evening (7 pm). i'm hungry. i have to fill up my gas tank and head to the atm. i am trying to decide - food that j-ro made (yum!!! on the chili, and still have a couple more meal options from what she gave me), food that i can cook, or get my fix for guac+chips and some mexican food? or perhaps something else.

• read message for "advice" ... there is this message for "safe & successful" communications. it includes some itemized things to consider. i'm going to read that later tonight - after whatever meal option i choose. (for cCacao folks on fbook, i'll provide more detail in the note.)
  
• out and about ... several posts ago, i was pondering over here on day 3 - the getting out & about in the BA compared to SD. one thing about clickety-clack is that he is an out and about person. one thing i did when i moved (oct '06) is that i gave my bike to a friend for his daughter, thinking and expecting that i'd just get a bike up here. well, i have yet to do so, and perhaps this is a reminder to get in gear (ar-ar-pun. sorta kinda).
• other tbd ... there remain 22. i am going to see about the "aging" (aka any that have been around for at least a week) and start some match management to get the stats down. gonna do some now before heading out for a few errands. thoughts in my head as i review current tbd ...
  
  • lean profiles ... will remain about another week
  • (i need to fill out the "book reading" section. how hard can that be?)
  • new york? ... someone who had been listed in the south bay/peninsula area is not listed as new york? eh?!
  • clickety-clack ... i sent 1 out
  • ALMOST closed someone out ... in fact, i started the process, checked a reason and then i changed my mind; not sure why, but i did.
    
  • closed out ... i closed out 1 - is it bad that i did because the profile was nice enough but the primary photo (among the others) was kind of the scary one (for my taste) of the bunch?
  • a few tbd have kids ... still pondering this. i have already clickety-clacked to someone with kids and yet to "read" back.
  • am i reading too much into a profile ... if friends and/or family is NOT mentioned?
• text message ... i just txt'd a cCacao girlfriend (aka pinky-promise) that a clickety-clack wrote back, and i was reading the response. her text msg back to me? - "hope he passes muster! want you to get to the face to face already!!" ... ah! the wonderful world of living vicariously (wink-wink).

clickety-clack into yippity-yap ... well, with clickety-clack responder, there is a potential for actual yippity-yap. i'm interested and therefore will take action after my errands (!) to head toward yippity-yap-land. meanwhile, stats for now until the next login sometime later(!) this evening (after farm town, of course, haha!!!):

• matches still to clickety-clack = 20
  
• clickety-clacking = 6 (am waiting for 5 still to get out of multiple-choice-itis; new guideline ... after 2 weeks if there is no response, i'm closing out; i initiated 1 clickety-clack today)
  
• closed out = 55 (1 closed out today by me;)
  

6 clickety-clack | 20 tbd

cCacao+ clan: week 2 begins with a change of pace

last login ... sunday evening over here with 5 clickety-clack:15 tbd.

week 2 change of pace ... i decided, given the level of effort of daily login, recap and details to the fbook cCacao clan (not to mention other stuff i have going on in my life away from a computer), week 2 is about doing a login only when there are email notifications. this means a login - when there are new matches just to check-out and keep track of the rate (e.g., may start clickety-clack, wait a bit, or close out) ... and when there is a clickety-clack action (e.g., actual response to clickety-clack or to close out).

random frequency of cCacao clan blog posts ... although i'll login at least daily, i will post either at the request of a cCacao or if there is some interesting (imo) clickety-clack. until then, i will simply track stats and do some regular tbd management.

day 10 morn ... 7 new tbds, therefore 5:22 to start. quickly reviewed new tbds. no action taken given the tbd management general criteria. until the next interesting notification ...

5 clickety-clack | 22 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 9, the weekend ends

last login ... logged in at a normal morning time on sunday over here just to check-in on the closing stats of 5 clickety-clack:19 tbd.

sunday early evening ... i received a notification (email) that i got a response from 1 clickety-clack. checked it out. stats just BEFORE a more thorough review? just checking in. stats? 4:18. ...1 closed me out; i closed 1 clickety-clack (at the must have/can't stand phase). the same reason why i had closed out the first clickety-clack is the same reason for this one. that said, there is 1 clickety-clack that is active (so i'm just waiting for his responses). 3 clickety-clack having some multiple-choice-itis.

voices in my head ... a few thoughts during this quick check-in

• multiple-choice-itis ... i will not suffer from multiple-choice-itis. i will be as prompt as i can in responding to the 1st questions. i realize how that first step can take a bit of effort for starting out.
  
• 1st questions ... i do mix it up, e.g., the initial 5 multiple choice questions to start clickety-clack for each are not the same 5 questions. there is one question that i will always send over, and the other four are generally a mix of about 8 other questions. the one question i'll always include is ... what is your opinion on your mate having opposite sex friendships? and as i was sharing with some friends, one of the responses would result in ending clickety-clack.
  

prelim sunday evening wrap-up ... i'll get login before slumber land. wistarting at 4:18, i closed out 2 tbds and started 1 clickety-clacktherefore, until the next login:

• matches still to clickety-clack = 15
  
• clickety-clacking = 5 (am waiting for 3 still to get out of multiple-choice-itis, i initiated 1 clickety-clack, and i closed out 1 after reviewing his must have/can't stand list; am waiting for 1 to respond to the 3 Qs i sent over.)
  
• closed out = 54 (2 closed out today by me; 1 tbd closed me out)
  

5 clickety-clack | 15 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 8, the weekend begins

last login ... logged in last night (yes, on a friday night) over here. closing stats at 7 clickety-clack:16 tbd.

saturday morn ... just checking in. stats? 5:17. ... two closed me out. a new reason beyond other ... i have too much happening in my life at the moment. i hit the find new matches and what d'ya think happened? (my guess is no matches or less than 7. the rate of matches cannot continue at the ~ 7/day, can it?) and ... 6 more. from this, i added 1 clickety-clack, so now at 5:22. hmmm? the math isn't working right - or more accurately, i did the match wrong. regardless, after the morning check-in - 5 clickety-clack:22 tbd. more later. heading to breakfast for my grits-fix at RCFC (aka rudy's can't fail cafe) to yap it up with gadget man.

saturday afternoon ... noon-ish time check-in @ 5:21. this means that 1 tbd switched over to a clicket-clacky (sah-weet). BUT meanwhile, 1 clickety-clack from this morn's effort closed me out ... i think the physical distance between us is too great. AND turns out that i'm now in the 2nd set of questions with 1 clickety-clack. 3 questions (original vs. from a set of LOTS) were forwarded. answered them. on with the rest of my weekend before the evening begins.

voices in my head ... a few thoughts throughout the day -

• distance concept ... i am thinking the distance criteria is less for me as a bit of a deal breaker because i had lived in southern california for about 16 years. driving, driving and driving is what one did. and it's pretty much just what happens living in the BA. however, i have been wondering that if there is a tbd in socal, would i choose the close out reason of physical distance too great or might i keep the option open?
  
• to press a button or not ... i've decided that i will try to keep the tbd number at least around 10 (and strive for a single digit) over the average of a week. this may sharpen my decisiveness skills and spill over into my regular work email management (ha!) of filing them away somehow. (however, i'm not going to start that today) however, i still will keep lean profiles open for up to 2 weeks. (note to self: count lean profiles next login)
  
• ethnicity ... interestingly, it seems like the percentage of matches i get are of a certain ethnicity. just an observation.
• tnts1d ... ponytail at cubeopolis chuckled about minding one's Ps/Qs on a first date, aka Things Not To Say on a 1st Date.
• opposite day ... this didn't work too well. i decided to focus on the clickety-clack. perhaps we shall see how tomorrow goes.
  

saturday evening transitions into early (!) sunday ... got a later start on login activities. stats started at 5:21. i've sent over 3 questions as a result of answering 3 questions. and during this post, 1 clickety-clack closed me out and 7 more tbd (so now at 5:27 ). from the 7 tbd, i decided to close 3, and from the existing tbd, i closed 5. therefore, until the next login:

• matches still to clickety-clack = 19
  
• clickety-clacking = 5 (am waiting for 3 to respond and for 2 to take it to the next step)
  
• closed out = 49 (several closed out today)
  

5 clickety-clack | 19 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 7 evening

last login ... logged in yesterday twice over here for part i and part ii with ending stats at 3 clickety-clack:20 tbd.

day 7 evening ... well, i got 8 more matches since yesterday. and i'm starting out my evening at 4 clickety clack:24 tbd (and 31 closed, which means a total of 59 matches to date) have 1 new clickety-clack and 3 people closed me out. the reasons cited besides other include ... i'm pursuing another relationship ... i want to pursue other matches. (thank you for a non-"other" statement.)

short break, sponsored by sacto floyd ... a couple of posts ago (over here) on day 4, sacto floyd commented as follows:

"Someone needs to start up an online dating service called Mismatch.com. This would be based on the theory that opposites attract and would use all the people that didn't match your criteria. You can then alternate between dating peeps from match and mismatch.com.

On average, dating people from match.com and mismatch.com ought to get you backtowhereyoustarted.com. At worst, you'd end up on screwedandnotlikingit.com.

Hmm, on second thought..."

opposite evening ... i called sacto floyd to thank him for his comment. then we got to talking. and what seinfeld t.v. episode do you think we talked about? yup! the opposite - the episode which includes the following george costanza lines:

"Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted ... and a cup of tea."

"I'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met"

tomorrow shall be opposite day ... i'm going to start communications with people i might otherwise close out (although lean profiles excluded).

today shall be business as usual ... for this evening, i'll go with what i'd normally do because i pooped out yesterday. (and i'm pressing the find new matches, just to see if anyone else is added - nada.) here goes. and now for day 7 evening ...

• matches still to clickety-clack = 16
  
• clickety-clacking = 8 (am waiting for 7 to respond and for 1 to take it to the next step)
  
• closed out = 35 (i closed out 2 more this evening)
  

hold the presses! not more than 15 minutes later ... as i was cleaning up the content of my profile before logging off, 1 of the additional 4 with whom i initiated communications these eve has closed me out.

other than other ... today is a cool day - such a variety of reasons for closing out profiles. in addition to the two mentioned earlier (i'm pursuing another relationship ... i want to pursue other matches), the recent closer-outer stated 2 reasons ... i am pursuing another relationship ... i am taking a break from dating.

until the next login:

• matches still to clickety-clack = 16
  
• clickety-clacking = 6 (am waiting for 5 to respond and for 1 to take it to the next step)
  
• closed out = 37 (i closed out 2 more this evening)

7 clickety-clack | 16 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 6 part ii

part i is over here. i'm tired, already, but i'll manage. lights flashing.

intermission over

changed my mind about dinner. (in other words, too lazy to drive) cooked and finished my dinner, along with a little less than half of the napoleon dessert. getting sleepy, and it's not even 9:30.

day 6 evening experience ... post will be much (MUCH) briefer, and i'll post more on the weekend 'cuz i promised piragua and harold's girl that i'd post a few things:

• overview of the online process
  
• memories when mlparkeresque and i commiserated and supported each other
• more voices in my head

ugh ... i'm sleepy. so at this point, i'll just report -

3 clickety-clack: 20 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 6 part i

last login ... logged in last night (over here) with ending stats at 3 clickety-clack:17 tbd. this post will be split into two parts ... i logged on twice in the evening.

day 6 - prepping ... i'm typing this part the morn before work, so it will be a quick login. i decided to press the "find new matches". what d'ya think happened? were there 7 new matches? wanna do the math yourself?

the result - 3 clickety-clack:24 tbd. unlike yesterday morning, i decided to do a quick review and see if any triage would be done with the new batch or better yet, see if i'd clickety-clack. the result? this evening will start with 3 clickety-clack:23 tbd, that is (of course) unless actions are taken by matches or clickety-clacks. of the new batch, my guess is that at least 3 will close me out. meanwhile, tonight i will re-read the profiles and make decisions on communications, close out, or wait for more profile info. that said, as i head into my workday, i will try to make note of any voices in my head.

day 6 evening, part une ... it's thursday, and i left work early enough in time to have the sucks butt the fashion show on the t.v., just playing in the background. (yawn. snarl.) i'm contemplating if i should cook or hunt & gather. dinner will be after 8 pm, i guess. (but lucky me, i have a napoleon dessert in my fridge. yum!)

meanwhile, i'll startup these eve's login. the day began at 3:23. the early evening begins with 4:22. ooooo! what does this mean? ... turns out, it means that i got closed out by someone. now i'm at 3:22 . also, looks like not a lot of other activity - no clickety-clack progress (YET!).

whittling, whittling ... here are various reasons why i made certain decisions for keeping or closing out matches during this first part of the evening login -

• kept him ... profile still quite lean. i think i'll give the lean-guys up to about 2 weeks from when the match was made before ditching. profile is interesting and not yet sure. contemplating initiating communications and may do so later tonight. contemplating closing out and will likely do so in part deux.
  
• ditched him ... i'm not a size 8 or smaller.
  

and now it's almost 8 pm. someone keeps ringing my doorbell. and i am hungry. back in a little bit. (i have also to feed the addiction of a friend on fbook playing farm town.)

3:21
intermission time

cCacao+ clan: day 5 evening closeout

last login ... logged in yesterday (over here) with ending stats at 3 clickety-clack:14 tbd.

day 5 - prepping ... in the morn, had 7 new matches, thus resulting in 3 clickety-clack:21 tbd (with the 20 closed out remaining). rather than take any action, i decided to wait until this evening and it a few of the newbies login, i predict at least 3 will close me out, although possibly a total of 5. i will definitely contact 1. was i right? did i end up with 3:18 or 3:16 or did one of the tbd's initiate communications? tick-tock ... tick-tock ...

by the way, when email notifications show up ... they are phrases like get to know your new match manly-man-name ... meet manly-man-name: your new match ... find out more about your new match ...

day 5 evening closeout ... first of all, i thought i'd be getting back from the sf giants game (against the atl braves), so i'd be a bit tired. also, it'd be my first time at the ballpark in good company with text-man, and i'd have a bunch of pictures for fun. well, after a flurry of text messages during the day, i met my friend, text-man, at thirsty bear ... had a beer, a few tapas and paella. we never made it to the ballpark, watched the basketball game, glanced over at some soccer, and then headed out just before 10 pm.

i'm so tired. so a quick check-in and then sleep time. and i fear that math will be difficult tonight. i'm tired. anyway - no more whining. so starting out with:

• 20 matches
• 3 clickety-clacks (and waiting for 2 of the 3 to respond to my reachin' out - ha!)
  
• 1 closed me out (hmmm ... i figured 3-5 from 05/27 matches would close me out. shall see eventually - or perhaps i'll do it)

reading responses from 1 clickety-clack ... well, are at the must have/can't stand part. read his 10/10 list, and all checked out. next step. i've sent mine over. i decided not to edit my original list. it took long enough to select just 10 for each. the first 7 were easy for both lists, and narrowing down for the additional 3 was a bit tough. now ... it's a waiting game to see if (a) he sends over a set of 2nd questions to keep communicating or (b) i get a dear jane standard message to step off.

voices in my head ... for tonight, i'm going to pass on the longer version of the voices in my head. but as ticklers and reminders for me, i'll say that i have thought about a few things:

• friday fish & chips gal ... will share with you a few more details of her first experience with this service. a couple of years ago, when all was said and done, she had 1,548 closed matches. this was roughly over 10 months spread out.
• details, details ... there is a part where you can write a bit more about what you want matches to know about you. i've seen profiles with that section filled in, and it is nice to read a little more detail. that said, i cheated a bit by completing that section with content i'd written up back in late 2006. (want details? just ask. nothing earth shattering.) i still need/want to finish filling out the other sections of the on-line service.
• last experience ... (re)pondering that this time around is crazy nutty with the increased rate of matches.

and now for day 5 evening closeout ... i've gone back to the 20 remaining matches and started closing out some.

• matches still to clickety-clack = 17
  
• clickety-clacking = 3 (am waiting for 2 to respond; 1 took the next step for which i'm waiting)
  
• closed out = 24 (i closed out 3 more this evening. there was 1 i was a bit unsure simply because his profile was intriguing; it would have been neat just to meet him, but i am reminded it's not iamcuriousandyouseemneat.com)
  

until the next login when i'm not pooped.

3 in clickety-clack | 17 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 4 interim evening

last login ... was (kinda) yesterday evening over here: 3 clickety-clacks:7 tbd. i logged in one more time last night. i wanted to see if hitting the button find new matches actually resulted in more matches. outcome after the 60-seconds countdown on the site? ... 7 new matches. so in theory, if none of the new 7 closed me out, i'd have 3 clickety-clacks: 14 tbd.

day 4, evening ... i'm starting out with 3 clickety-clacks:15 tbd. here goes what's up. so what does this mean? it means that one more match was added. and one of the clickety-clacks responded to the first set of Qs i sent over (yippee), which means it's now my turn. needless to say, my first duty is to respond to his Qs. after that, i'll review the new 8 matches since yesterday evening and do some triage.

reading his Qs ... like his answers. and now i'm responding to his 5 multiple choice questions from the set of predetermined questions. there are 4 choices for each of the 5 questions and each with an option to write in an answer. yup! i wrote in answers. ARGHH!!!! i didn't finish 1 of the 5 questions and accidentally hit the button that threw me into the next phase. ARGHH!!! oh well.

back to the other clickety-clacks and matches ... when i checked the status if the other 2 clickety-clacks answered my Qs (or not), there is a little note that says "your match is reading your answers" (really?! already? is he asking ... "how come that sentence is not complete?").

... and then 16 matches total?! SIXTEEN?! i started with 15, and now it's at 16. this means that since yesterday evening, 9 more matches have been thrown over. that's nutty. anyway, i decided to close out only 2. my guess is that i'll login again later this evening or very early in the morning - some time after my power nap. (i've got some work that i've still got to do.)

voices in my head ... so this was a quick login -

• clickety-clack's questions made me think "pack some bags" ... like the questions that he picked. made me think and reminds me that i do a bit more domestic travel than the passport travel; gotta get some passport trips in.
  
• my woo-woo came out ... when i responded to the question about what do i think about "soul mates".
  
• keeping in mind false starts ... when i read through the new matches, the 2 that i closed out had several activities for which i know i'm not as avid as the two guys described their levels of interests.

pondering: not like before ... i talked with my friend mlparkeresque this evening on the way home from work. she and i (and another friend) were on this same online service several years ago. we'd chat and commiserate and celebrate and just be supportive. a few things she and i recalled ... we only received 4-5 matches each week. the matches were thrown over on a monday or tuesday. all other days? downtime - no other matches. so this time around, with a rate of at least 7 per day and it being tuesday, i wonder how many other matches will be offered up in the week.

and now for day 4 INTERIM evening ...

• matches still to clickety-clack = 14 (and it's very likely i'll close-out a couple more)
  
• clickety-clacking = 3 (am waiting for 2 to respond and for 1 to take it to the next step)
  
• closed out = 20 (i closed out 2 more this evening)
  

until the next login later this eve/early morn:

3 in clickety-clack | 14 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 3 evening closeout

last login ... was just this morn over here: 2 clickety-clacks:12 tbd. i figured i'd go ahead and login tonight, so i can procrastinate a bit this evening. and i'm not planning to login in the mornings.

day 3 in the evening ... still have 2:12; no changes since this morn. here goes what's up.

i decided to review the 12 to see what action i'd take - basically, who would i close out. and then i called up my friend, vance, for moral support and just to catch up with him 'cuz he's down in SD and not an easy fellow to pin down. ALSO, there was a guy whose profile totally reminded me of vance ... = mr. sporty-outdoorsy-dude who looks a decade younger from the age which he truly belongs (yet often DOES subtract the decade when meeting women - and rightfully so, i'd agree, in his case). guy's profile mentioned several outdoor activities that vance also does, as well as having a similar "feel" - if that makes any sense.

voices in my head ... i read to vance my profile stuff and guy's profile stuff. then we got to chatting, and from that chat came vance's offering ...

• false starts ... an accurate description of yourself will minimize the number of false starts. works both ways.
  

well, i decided to close out the vance-like guy and one of the other tbd guys. then ... i called gadget man to give him my update AND to tell him about one of the clickety-clack guys. long story short, i also closed out a clickety-clack. lessons learned here ...

• be decisive ... if i'm going to call anyone for advice about what to do, i already know what to do. i just need to do it. oddly, i tend to be fairly decisive (... well, except about breakfast places, occasionally lunch places, and i guess sometimes dinner places ... but that's different, kinda sorta. generally, i'm fairly decisive. well enough decisive. ha!)
• curiosity and people ... i enjoy meeting people. i love hearing peoples' voices, listening to their stories, watching fun hand gestures, and just people stuff. (o.k., i can do without bad hygiene yet even still - that even keeps me fascinated as to why one is o.k. with bad hygiene, but i digress ...)

to suck face or not to suck face ... consequently, i was reminiscing about what a friend said to me nearly 6 years ago - "it's not be my friend. it's i want to eventually suck face with you." well, he didn't quite say it exactly like that but that's how i translated what he said, and he agreed it was close enough.

with that in mind, i will continue to wait until some profiles are more filled out (and i have to continue to add to mine), i decided to close out a few, i'm pondering closing out 2 but still pondering, and now have the following after day 3 evening ...

• matches still to clickety-clack = 7
  
• clickety-clacking = 3 (1 from this morn remains; sent out 3 more out but 1 closed me out during the writing of this post)
  
• closed out = 18 (i closed out 3, 1 closed me out after i sent a clickety-clack to during the writing of this post)
  

until tomorrow (day 4) evening, the day 3 evening stats are:

3 in clickety-clack | 7 tbd

cCacao+ clan: day 3 & math for stats

math is fun ... i'll post stats for the days that i login. info will include number of new matches, how many remain, who i have clickety-clack (aka typing stuff at each other, aka communicating), closed out matches, etc.

recap day 2 (over here) as an example ... shortly after day 1 began, 7 matches upon authorization of gadget man's credit card purchase. day 2 (morning), a total of 19. by the time i logged out, 13 match still to contact, 1 match in clickety-clack, which means 5 closed out. closing stats = 19 to start, 1 clickety-clack, 13 matches still to process. the point is ... what i start with at the beginning of a blog post may not be what i end with after 1/2-hour.

day 3 ... 9 new matches. i ended up with 13 active matches from day 2 and started day 3 with 17 matches, before i logged on, a few closed me out. i decided to close 4, and a few more closed me out while i was on-line. i also sent 1 clickety-clack. (that means i contacted someone.) what does this all mean before my day 3 logout? after starting with 20 active matches ...

• matches still to clickety-clack = 12
  
• clickety-clacking = 2
  
• closed out = 14

rate of matches ... a total of 28 matches have been sent over in the past 3 days. i'm guessing that the rate 0f matches (matches per day) will decrease over time. that's just really alot.

voices in my head ... a few thoughts, so far, about the screening process:

• lean vs. full profiles ... there are several profiles that are a bit lean, e.g., don't have a lot of content. i've decided i'll wait up to about a week until more content is provided.
  
• close out reasons by them ... closed out for "other" and "physical distance" reasons. the distance, so far, has been those on the sf bay side citing distance; i'm ~ 35-45 min from the city. other matches are from throughout the east bay, e.g., peninsula, walnut creek area, south bay, etc.)
  
• close out reasons by me ... closed out for "other" and "statements made, not a match". some statements include die-hard romantic, die-hard/extreme outdoor activities, very frequent outdoor activities (without urban references), where/how value of looks is placed, and different values expressed.
  

pondering: out & about ... and i'm realizing that as i look through profiles with outdoor activities, for the amount of time i've been in the bay area ... as much as i enjoy being outdoors, i do not get out and about in the bay area as far as trails and the coast. (however, i get my share of the urban setting.) while i was doing so in san diego, the beach, day hike trails, and proximity to desert and mountains made it much easier just to be out and about outdoors. also, having had my own business gave me a bit more flexibility to shuffle activities around the week. i would head out on my own or (more likely) hang out with friends that were heading out. this gives me something to ponder about. meanwhile ... day 3 (morn) closing stats:

2 in clickety-clack | 12 tbd